Greetings From The South Side!

• We really are gonna try to talk these guys into a Mattoon franchise.
• Hee, hee, the Brewers put fingers in butts.
See ya, Chelsea.
ESPN is full of it. Who knew?
• The Brewers will make you pee.
• Yeah, not a smart bet, not at all.
• We love a good Star Wars nerd.
• Oh, boy, Roger Clemens is back. Whoopee.
Pay Rickey!
XTREME, dude!
• Vernon Wells knows how to write on a baseball.
Floyd Mayweather, enjoying himself.
• They should call him Greg Olden! Get it?! Sigh.
• Who said lawyers don't make the world a better place?
• If you can't believe Michael Vick, who can you believe?
• We can only hope to someday love America as much as the Yankees do.

All right. As many of you know, the Deadspin Midwest Pants Party is tonight at U.S. Cellular Field; we eagerly await the Jon Garland-Odalis Perez face off. Tickets for our section are sold out, but if you're at the game, look for the pasty people dressed up like Barbaro. The Mighty MJD is your weekend daddy as always, and hopefully we won't still be hungover by Monday morning. See you then.