The continued futility of Teddy Roosevelt to ever win one of the presidential mascot races at RFK Stadium has been well documented, but no one has ever thought to ask Teddy what he thinks of all the trouble he has been having. Finally, The Washington Post sits down Mr. Bull Moose for a loser's lament. It doesn't go well.
So, yes, I did ask Teddy if he had ever considered anger management counseling. It would be my last question to the president. When last seen, he was storming out of the room, leaving a tangle of overturned chairs in his wake.
Eventually, we want to see a minor league team put together an Assassin's Race, with big costumes of John Wilkes Booth, Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley and Leon F. Czolgosz, racing each other around the bases to get a gun. When they win, they're executed. It would be fun: Run, you stupid f—-ing assassin, run!
Of All The Losers At RFK Stadium, One Is A (Giant) Head Above The Rest [Washington Post]