If you're going to start ripping people, Les Miles, go all the way. That way Every Day Should Be Saturday wouldn't have to step in and pick up the slack with some writer's embellishment, turning what was some mildly interesting radio content into something truly memorable. The LSU football coach was on a Baton Rouge radio station last week, where he predicted an LSU-USC showdown in the BCS title game. He ripped the Pac-10, and the Trojans in particular, saying that USC has a much easier road than the Tigers: "They're going to play real knockdown drag-outs with UCLA and Washington, Cal, Stanford — some real juggernauts."
But since this is Every Day Should Be Saturday, you know that the interview doesn't end there. Miles "continues," criticizing a random 11-year-old girl named Hayley Lafontaine:
"Her bicycle lacks streamers. Her birthday parties always turn up the dregs of the sixth grade ... And she plays Avril fucking Lavigne all damn day. Avril Lavigne. As if anyone in the world gave a flying dog turd-shaped airplane made of dog turds about her anymore. Goddammit, how I loathe that brokedick excuse for an 11 year old girl. She keeps going on about how excited she is about the Bratz movie coming up—Omigod bratz bratz bratz weeeEEEEEEE—that I'm thinking of burning down the Regal 5 the night before just to watch her cry."
In Hayley's defense, nobody really uses streamers anymore.