The Red Sox Sewing Circle Now Officially Includes Simmons

We don't quite understand all the weird little in-jokes and politics of Boston Red Sox baseball, and, for this, we find ourselves rather fortunate. So maybe a Sox fan can translate this for us, because, apparently, NESN broadcaster Jerry Remy ripped into The Sports Feller on the Boston broadcast last night.

Apparently, there's some sort of Red Sox Nation group, and they have a president, and Bill Simmons "applied" for it and ... jeez, we're just so confused. Anyway, Remy made a big show of ripping up Simmons' application on the air and ripped into him a bit.

Don't be writing in and saying you want to be president because I always wanted to be president of something. You want to be president of one of the greatest nations in the world, Red Sox Nation, you have to represent the people. He's talking about getting free tickets. He's ripping Mike O'Malley. He's ripping my health. I mean, c'mon. The sports guy. There's a lot of sports guys out there, right? Your campaign is officially over. Now he'll rip... what does he write for again?

Remy seemed to be somewhat tongue-in-cheek about the whole thing, but, honestly, Boston baseball politics are too labyrinthine for us to follow. We do like the image of Simmons watching the game in LA last night — with The Dooze! — and sporting an immediate erection at the mention of his name.

RemDawg: Simmons Out of Running for RSN Prez [Boston Dirt Dogs]

(UPDATE: Boston Sports Media explains the situation, and even includes The Sports Feller's letter.)