You Threadjackin' It?

To keep the comments as fresh and outstanding as they've been up to this point, we've commissioned Commenting Guru Rob Iracane to write a bi-weekly Comment Ombudsman column. It runs every other week. This is that week.

Mr. Iracane is the guy who approves and deletes comments around here, and the fellow to whom you should address any comment account requests, and he will explore issues involved in commenting, what makes a great comment thread, what's working, what isn't, answer your questions, so on. We want the place to continue to be as much fun as it is every day, and it's not an execution thread like our friends at Gawker do. We like to be inclusive here, because if we're not, we'd be forced to rely on our own wit and knowledge, and that's a scary thought indeed.

So here's this week's column, about threadjacking ... after the jump. Of course, don't be afraid to let him have it in the comments.

—————————————

Contrary to popular sentiments amongst Deadspin commenters, I appreciate a good threadjacking. Even though our little website is a "blog" made up of "posts," and not a "forum" made up of "threads," sometimes there is such an urgent news story that needs to be broken immediately, thus interrupting a good Mike Vick comedy pyramid. Count me among the many recovering WWL-addicts who no longer visit sports news websites and instead spend an entire workday skulking around snarky sports blogs' comment sections. Therefore, how else would I find out that the Mark Teixeira trade went through? How else besides reading it five different times on five different Deadspin posts?

My friends, please keep threadjacking, but please follow some simple rules.

• For the love of all that is holy, if you are going to threadjack with breaking news, make sure that it hasn't already been broken already in a previous post. If you're watching an afternoon Cardinals game on TV and you see a hypodermic needle falls out of Albert Pujols' pocket, chances are you'll be the first one to post this delicious item. If your source of sports news is the afternoon edition of the St. Louis Post Dispatch, however, chances are that Pujols' (completely hypothetical!) indiscretion has already been revealed.

• If you want to break news that is not sports-related, it had better be either mind-blowing or of major import. Gerald Ford dying is important; Gerald McRaney getting nominated for an Emmy is not. Also, please don't threadjack with filthy, filthy lies.

• Whenever massively mind-blowing news causes a threadjack, it is perfectly acceptable to abandon the comedy pyramid and discuss said news item. Otherwise, post the news bulletin, close it off with a "/threadjack" tag, and allow our witty commenters to continue making dick jokes. Nothing ruffles my feathers more than a Kevin Garnett discussion on a Barry Bonds post, unless they're involved in a homosexual double suicide pact. Gossip gossip gossip!

• Of course, Deadspin Up! All Night should be completely free from the word 'threadjack'. DU!AN is the lawless, nocturnal version of Deadspin and we can change the direction of discourse at will, without warning.

Some of the funniest jokes are posted late at night, unfortunately, none of them made Comments of the Fortnight:

Re: Mike Vick vs. his teammates
LingeringBursitis: not to mention Air Bud came out and said he wouldn't catch any Vick passes thrown to his side of the field

Re: Priest Holmes' comeback
Camp Tiger Claw: Who's next, Derrick Thomas?

Re: No more Vick jersey sales
BowdenBowdenBowden: We have suspended sales of Vick-related merchandise...
Aaron Brooks is somewhere crying right now.