What to watch as you send your robot squirrel out to take care of the rattlesnake ...
• MLB: Detroit at Cleveland [ESPN]; Cincinnati at Chicago Cubs. "He can't hit he can't hit he can't hit, Su-wing batter!" [WGN]
• Tennis: ATP, Western & Southern Financial Group Masters, early round, at Cincinnati. Free portfolio consultation with every cheeseburger purchase at the snack bar. [ESPN2]
• Little League softball: World Series, championship, at Portland, Ore. Those with heart conditions or who are pregnant are cautioned to avoid the excitement of the sudden transition from ATP tennis to children's softball. [ESPN2]

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