Taste The Rockies, Losers! Taste Them!

The Colorado Rockies need a theme song! After beating the Dodgers on Thursday for their 11th straight win — the longest winning streak in the majors this season — they are on the verge of making the playoffs for only the second time in their history. The Rockies are one game out in the wild-card race, with their final series beginning today against Arizona at Coors Field. So a theme song is imperative, and they are asking you for help. Their fans have been absolutely no freakin' help so far (The Bee Gees? John Denver?), so come, on, pitch in! The Rockies thank you. (No Survivor please).

In the interests of full disclosure, I wrote off the Rockies about two weeks ago. After a series of insulting remarks, I buried a Rockies pennant in a shallow grave just off of Interstate 5, and moved on with my life. Now, I am on the verge of losing several bets. Damn it! If you want to crown 'em, crown 'em! It's all Todd Helton's fault, you know. Helton joined the Rockies in 1997 —although he didn't unpack his beard until the following year — and has never played in a post-season game. So that's why it's kind of cool that his sixth-inning homer helped propel Colorado over the Dodgers. Brad Hawpe had three hits and four RBI for the Rockies, who trail first-place Arizona in the NL West by two games and are one game behind San Diego in the wild card, tied with the Phillies and Mets. The Rockies and Diamondbacks open a season-ending three-game series at Coors Field today. Do you smell a distinct, Warriors-vs.-Mavericks kind of vibe here? Yes, I believe! Send me a t-shirt! Of course, the Rockies have the Dodgers to thank for their dramatic troop surge. Seven of Colorado's wins in the streak have come over LA, which has lost 10 of its past 11. Colorado won the season series over the Dodgers 12-6. Rookie Franklin Morales (3-2), allowed four hits and three runs in five-plus innings to earn the win.

How The West Will Be Won. The various NL playoff scenarios are endless, so take a look for yourself, courtesy of the Denver Post. At least now there's no chance of a five-way tie.

License To Kill Gophers, By The Government Of The United States. A pretty funny interview with Bill Murray today at Chicago Sports, in which he assures Cubs fans that they will indeed prevail in the Central. Excerpt: "Would the Cubs be the Cubs if they lost the World Series? That's sick thinking. You've got to watch out for people like that. I should be watching you. Maybe you want to talk to me later about what's going on in your life." The Cubs stranded 10 runners and were swept by the last-place Marlins, losing 6-4 on Thursday. The Brewers also lost, 9-5 to the Padres, to remain two games behind Chicago.

Max Mercy Disapproves. Fire Joe Morgan questions the wisdom of the Rangers playing the theme to The Natural over the PA system after Sammy Sosa home runs, and I have to agree. The Savoy Special was not corked, dammit! Although The Whammer did take copious amounts of HGH.