You can't expect the Phillies' top stars to go hitless again, but it's clear that they're in some serious trouble if they lose this game. It's Franklin Morales for the Rockies and Kyle Kendrick for the Phillies, and if that doesn't scream Playoff Baseball, we don't know what does.
Your live blogger — who has reliable Internet access — is Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler. Enjoy his excellence after the jump. And, of course, play along in the comments.
Bottom Ninth, Rockies 10, Phillies 5
Two quick outs, fly to center and groundout to second.
Utley singles to give Phillies fans hope.
Burrell lines a single over shortstop, and we're rolling now! (Phillies are doomed)
Howard takes strike three, and that ends our contest. The Phillies are in a world of hurt, folks. But hey, they've been there before.
We'd like to thank Nibbles for running extra slowly on the little wheel this afternoon. Updates were slow, I know. As Lando said in The Empire Strikes Back, "It wasn't my fault!"
Enjoy Indians-Yankees. G'Night.
Top Ninth, Rockies 10, Phillies 5
TBS has a "sister station?" Kinky.
Yankees-Indians will start on TNT.
JC Romero is your pitcher (No. 12 of the game), and induces Helton to ground out 1-3. One down.
Garrett Atkins flies out to center. Two down.
Hawpe strikes out swinging. End of inning.
Bottom Eighth, Rockies 10, Phillies 5
Burrell lines out to short, and we'll now have a pitching change.
Howard singles with one out, against new pitcher Brian Fuentes.
Rowan strikes out, but ball gets away. Howard scoots to second, and Torrealba throws to first ... but first base was occupied, right? Yeah, he didn't need to make that throw. Runner on second, two out.
Werth walks. Now get ready for the pinch-hitting stylings of Tadahito Iguchi.
Iguchi walks to load 'em up. Pitching change? Yep.
It goes to 11! Manny Corpas (Delecti) will be the 11th pitcher of the game. Let's give him a hand.
Carlos Ruiz is your hitter, and Corpus starts him out with a slider for a strike.
Ruiz grounds out 5-3. Inning over. Sad, really.
Top Eighth, Rockies 10, Phillies 5
Cory Sullivan grounds out. One down.
This brings up Kaz "Meat Rage" Matsui, who just needs a singe to become the first player in major league history to hit for the cycle in a post-season game.
Antonio Alfonseca is your pitcher, by the way.
Matsui flies out to center. Two down.
Holliday lines out to Rollins at short, who elevates to make the snag, preventing more Phillies grief. End of inning.
Bottom Seventh, Rockies 10, Phillies 4
It's very quiet right now at Citizen's Bank. I blame the Phillie Phanatic.
Carlos Ruiz to lead it off. Ryan Speier is your pitcher.
Tulowitzki out 6-3. One down.
Shane Victorino pinch single!
Victorino running, Rockies pitch out. But no one's covering second, and throw goes into center. Victorino goes to third.
Who pitches out with a 10-4 lead?
Rollins grounds out to first, but Victorino scores. 10-5, Rockies.
Chase Utley flies out to left. Inning over.
Top Seventh, Rockies 10, Phillies 4
Dane Cook implores you to stay tuned. "There's only one October!"
Atkins flies out to center. One down.
Hawpe hits one up the middle that Hawpe can't come up with. I score it a single.
Spilborghs finds the hole between short and third for a single. Runners on first and second.
Torrealba grounds into a 1-4-3 double play. Inning over.
Bottom Sixth, Rockies 10, Phillies 3
Between Ripken and Frank Thomas, that's a lot of bald in the TBS studios.
How big is Frank Thomas' head? Someone should measure it.
Ryan Howard homers deep to left. No. 48 this year! Rockies 10, Phillies 4.
Ben Affleck is pitching, for some reason. Well no wonder Howard went deep.
Aaron Rowand strikes out. One down.
Jason Werth grounds out 5-3, despite his "safe" call as he crosses the bag. Two down.
Oh wait, the pitcher is Jeremy Affeldt. He wasn't in Gigli at all.
Bolstered by the knowledge that he did not star in Daredevil, Affeldt strikes out Dobbs to end the inning.
Top Sixth, Rockies 6, Phillies 3
Jose Mesa and his Amazing Chin Whiskers are pitching. Ryan Hawpe is your hitter. Oh, a leadoff walk. Who could have predicted that?
Spilborghs works a full count ... and walks. Runners on first and second. Wait, what ... booing? In Philadelphia?
Torrealba sends one to right-center that drops and rolls to the fence for a double. Two runs score. It's 8-3 Rockies.
Mesa is now 2-0 on Fogg, and someone throws a bottle onto the field from the upper deck.
Fogg SAC bunts runner to second. One out. And the Jose Mesa Experience is over. Please drive safely.
Your pitcher is now Clay Condry. Matsui is hitting.
Matsui triples to the gap in right-center. It's 9-3 Rockies.
Tulowitzki called out on strikes. Two down.
Holliday singles to left, scoring Matsui. 10-3 Rockies. Look out for flying objects!
Helton strikes out. Inning over.
Bottom Fifth, Rockies 6, Phillies 3
The Bourn Ultimatum: He lines out. One down.
Rollins grounds out to short. Two down.
Jose Mesa up in the pen for the Phillies. May God have mercy on us all.
"Josh Fogg pitched very well on Monday except for one inning." Yeah, when he gave up five runs.
Chase Utley hits one off his shoetops into center for a single.
Burrell strikes out on nine pitches. Changeup. Inning over.
Top Fifth, Rockies 6, Phillies 3
Due up against Lohse: Holliday, Helton, Atkins.
Holiday called out on strikes. The dreaded backwards K. One down.
So what is Helton wearing around his neck? A pacifier? Bathtub stopper?
Helton grounds out 3-1. Two down.
Atkins flies out to center. End of inning.
Bottom Fourth, Rockies 6, Phillies 3
Ground out. One down.
Josh Fogg is pitching, by the way. Pinch hitter Greg Dobbs flies out. Two down.
Carlos Ruiz flies out to left, as Spilborgh makes a sliding catch. End of inning.
Top Fourth, Phillies 3, Rockies 2
Atkins, who looks like a middle school math teacher, doubles to left-center to lead off.
Hawpe flies out to the wall in left. One out, runner on second. Rockies are 0-for-4 with runners in scoring position.
Spilborghs jammed on the hands on a high fastball, and pops out to first. Two down.
First base open, pitcher on deck ... and they're pitching to Torrealba. Let's watch the fun.
With the count 2-0, they walk Torrealba. Seth Smith — the very best player in the National League named Seth — will pinch hit. This ends your Franklin Morales broadcasting day.
Smith hits a slow roller toward third, and the charging Helms can't grip it, all are safe. Just the way they did it with the Colorado Springs Sky Sox! Bases loaded, two out. It looks like we're going to have a pitching change. Which means it's time for another Sonic commercial.
Kyle Lohse is your guest pitcher. Taz Matsui is your hitter.
Matsui lines one down the right-field line ... FOUL
Kaz Matsui has Meat Rage! Grand slam, into the stands in right. Rockies lead 6-3.
Hey, I missed an out. Inning over.
Bottom Third, Phillies 3, Rockies 2
Here's a fun fact: The Phillies have the highest stolen base percentage in baseball. 139/157, .878. Does this eem right?
Pat Burrel lines out to center. One down.
Ryan Howard is hit by a pitch on an 0-2 count. Hit him on the hand. He appears to be ... OK. Ryan Howard WILL be at the dance tonight, girls. He will be there.
Morales picks off Howard at first. I've seen pickoffs before, but Howard was so fooled Morales could have thrown it underhand. Two down.
Fly ball to center. End of inning.
Top Third, Phillies 3, Rockies 2
It's Kaz Matsui time.
Matsui plays wall ball in center. It's off the padding, and Matsui cruises into second with a double. This game could go 4 hours.
Full count to Tulowitzki.
Tul-la-lu-la-witzki, Tul-la-lul-la-la, Tu-la-lul-la-witzki, it's an Irish, lula-byyyyyy ... Oh, he struck out. One out.
Holliday grounds to third, Two down.
Why is Lohse warming up? This seems unwise.
Todd Helton flies out to one of those positions out there. Inning over.
Bottom Second, Rockies 2, Phillies 1
Werth strike sout. One down. Time for the awesome power of Wes Helms.
Full count to Helms. Ball four in the dirt.
Morales went to his mouth while on the mound, so a ball is added to the count. 2-1 count to Ruiz
Ruiz doubles to right-center, over Spilbors' head on the warning track. Runners on second and third. One out.
Kenrick at the plate. Ball one.
Kendrick grounds out to second, but runners don't advance. That ball was hit s-l-o-w-l-y, but Helms didn't try it from third.
Rollins at the plate.
Rollins to the gap in left-center, two runs score! A standup triple! The chants of MVP begin, naturally. A high breaking ball, which in retrospect which was unwise.
Chase Utley will now be your batter.
Utley flies out to center for the third out.
TOP 2nd, ROCKIES 2, PHILLIES 1
Brade Hawpe leads off for Rockies as we try the top-to-bottom format! Blogging is fun!
Spilbors grounds to short, force at second, throw to first is wide. Runner on first with one out.
It's YORVIT TIME.
Holliday is still wearing his chin strawberry, I see. The Rockies should market press-on chin strawberries. I'd buy one.
Torrealba flies out to center. Two down.
Morales at the plate. I expect nothing less than a homer.
Morale sstrikes out, crushing the dreams og young Rockies fans everywhere. Third out.
ROCKIES 2, PHILLIES 1
Dane Cook has admonished me to be a true fan, and I have Meat rage. Also I've taken off my long sleeves. Let's kick the tires and light the fires.
Kaz Matsui starts it off for the Rockies. Top first. Let's go. Ready to work against Kyle Kendrick. Ball one? I'm outraged!
Matsui ground ball out. Troy Tulowitzki hits a ball off of a woman's wheel chair in left center. Well, it didn't hit a wheelchair, it appears to be a flower pot. Home run! Manuel comes out to argue but it's 1-0, Rockies.
Matt Holliday proves that John Denver's Heavenly influence is still strong. Home run to deep left. 2-0 Rockies.
Helton pops out, F5. Two down.
Fly out to right.
BEGIN BOTTOM 1st, ROCKIES 2, PHILLIES 0
Rollins home run to left ... high fastball. 2-1 Rockies. I'm not making this up, people!
Morales wears No. 56 ... high numbers make me think of spring training. Also so does three homers in the first 1 1/3 innings.
Chase Utley strikes out. One down.
Burrell crushes one, but foul. Ball four. Howard strides to the plate. Time to order a pizza.
Someone is finally pitching fron the stretch! Howard strikes out swininging, 96 MPH at the belt. Two down.
5-4, third out.
END ONE FULL, ROCKIES 2, PHILLIES 1