The kewpie doll this morning goes to commenters Chad Sexington (who provided us with this wonderfully ironic photo (and this animated GIF) and, especially, Fiddling While Jim Rome Burns, who came up with a theory that just might explain what's happening to the Red Sox right now. He calls it The Kekich-Peterson Theory, after the Yankees pitchers who swapped wives in the '70s. The Red Sox, he convincingly argues, have finally swapped identities with the Yankees.
Riffing on Bill Simmons' befuddled confusion that these aren't the loose, wacky Red Sox of recent vintage, FWJRB (as he will be referred to in this post) lays out the case.
1. Recent post-season success
2. Bloated payroll
3. Aloof, superior fanbase
4. Aging and/or worthless pitching (with Eric Gagne playing Roger Clemens)
5. Offense predicated entirely on home runs.
Yep: That's pretty much dead on. The Red Sox have turned into the Yankees, and suddenly, their quirks and eccentricities aren't charming anymore. When Manny poses after hitting a home run that brings his team within four runs, it's not funny or cute: He's just being a dick. And Manny's one of the likable ones! The Red Sox have the only player in the major leagues who Cardinals fans boo.
Boston's gonna be fine; as a friend told us last night, if you could build a Major League Baseball franchise from scratch, they'd look a lot like the Red Sox. But that team, that next team, is in the future. This Boston team now, they're look old, they look confused and they look like this fun, talented and fiery Indians team is about to wipe them straight out of the playoffs.
Would The Red Sox Please Make This Interesting? [Fair And Foul]
(Advantage to putting up About Last Night at 5:30 in the morning; smart commenters will write the site for you!)