Maybe Somebody Did This To Schilling's Ankle, And It Backfired

For years, we have been fascinated by the idea of using voodoo on players who are opposing our team. If we could have stuck a little pin in the forearm of Sean May during the 2005 NCAA Championship Game, we would have done so. Nothing to cause him any permanent problems, but just enough to mess with his shot a little. It's fan interactivity!

Soccer, of course, is working to perfect this. They're actually hiring voodoo priestesses.

Russian fans resorted to bizarre measures for success, hiring a voodoo priestess to curse three English players, the Tvoi Den newspaper reported Tuesday. Instead of using a voodoo doll, however, the fans used matryoshka dolls embossed with the pictures of Joe Cole, John Terry and Frank Lampard.

"They will have a problem with speech," the Haitian priestess said after cursing the players, Tvoi Den reported. "Apart from that the lads could unexpectedly have problems with their legs — apologies for the details — between their legs. Nothing serious. Simply some small discomfort, lethargy, ache and if all goes according to my plan, an itch."

OK, now that's just excessive. Though a lot of Boston-area voodoo shops — there are voodoo shops, right? — just got a little busier.

Joe Cole, John Terry And Frank Lampard Have Their Man Parts Cursed [The Offside]