Colts and Pats Match-Up Poised to Tilt Axis of Earth

The Indianapolis Colts/New England Patriots death-match hype is reaching its condition critical stage, as every single person on the planet tangentially-related to either one of those regions or to sports writing has to have an opinion about it. They must. This is the game of the millennium, you see, so act accordingly.

The Patriots, of course, are the universally despised team. The once scrappy underdogs who stole the hearts of America when they took down the Martzian juggernaut known as the 2001 St. Louis Rams has completely vanished. Now, they're evil incarnate; a bloodthirsty gang of stormtroopers who've been re-programmed by a gray-hoodie'd madman to eviscerate NFL teams with reckless abandonment.

And...there's the Colts. The noble defending champions with the milquetoast quarterback and the sad-eyed coach who just go about their business and do nothing to captivate (or infuriate) a football-frenzied nation. They are the innocent white-hats, who're single-minded in their approach to achieve victory through cuddling. How dare Las Vegas make an undefeated defending Super Bowl champion playing at home a 6 point underdog? How dare they!

At this rate, unless this game ends in overtime, due to either Tom Brady or Peyton Manning's head being decapitated, it'll be a disappointment. If the Patriots, lose, however, it'll be terrible for the league, because they'll lose their guaranteed storyline every week in a season that doesn't have many good ones so far. (On the field, that is). If the Colts lose, well, they're supposed to lose. Then they can meet again in the playoffs and we can go relive this madness all over again.

Oh, and sorry Raiders fans. You will be forced to watch.

NFL Armageddon [Slate]
Quien es Mas Macho? [Kissing Suzy]
Colts-Patriots Match-up is Built to Last [Dallas Morning News]