In George Carlin's famous "Baseball and Football" bit, he noted how Woody Hayes wore a baseball hat during games. "Can you imagine if Walter Alston wore a football helmet during the baseball game? They would truck him away!"

Last night, Lou Holtz broke ground on his little game of Dress-Up by crossing borders to The Association and giving a pep talk to the Knicks as if he were Isiah Thomas ... wearing a Knicks jersey. It might not be too far-fetched if something in Thomas's cortex snapped and he wore a Knickerjersey on the sidelines with the team.

After his slam on my beloved city of Toledo last week, it's not easy to turn around in a week and give him credit, but Holtz was basically right on all fronts, even if he did embellish the way little old men always do. Unfortunately, given the state of the New York Knicks, a pep talk is tantamount to a pilot crashing into the mountainside, and Dr. Rumack coming into the cockpit saying, "I just want to tell you both good luck. We're all counting on you." But what do I know, the Knicks won 91-88 over the Milwaukee Bucks last night.

Do I Have To Do Everything Around Here? After LeBron James' hurt his fingers, you'd imagine a team without its superstar can't win games. So explain the Toronto Raptors beating those very Cleveland Cavaliers without their own Chris Bosh. Go on. I'll just wait here.

The Celtics Are Like My 8th Grade Quiz Bowl Team. There were these three kids who scored about 90 percent of the points, and we won a lot of matches. I'm not sure whatever happened to them, but it certainly couldn't be more important or profitable than writing about sports on the Internet, could it? The Celtics were carried by Paul Pierce (27), Kevin Garnett (23), and Ray Allen (17) and nobody else wearing green reached double-digit points in the 95-85 win over the Miami Heat.

No Love For The Suns? Yeah, I'm totally preempting the jeers about leaving out the Magic-Suns game by including it. Now if only we could do that for every game, every night. Dwight Howard's 30 points and 23 rebounds kept Orlando close, but the Phoenix Slam Dunk Invitational championship went to the Suns tonight, in which they won 110-106, so I'm guessing they had two more alley-oops than the Magic did.