Scott Van Pelt Addresses America's Future

So, you might be wondering: Who was the commencement speaker at the University of Wisconsin-Madison? (Trust us, you were wondering this.) Well, it was, of all people, our old pal Scott Van Pelt ... and we're not ashamed to say it was a pretty amusing speech.

Not only did he praise Madison — which, we agree, is a wonderful city — but he even referenced that famous voice mail message.

This hourglass will serve several purposes here. First of all, it's my reminder to be brief. I might have left a voice mail message for a young lady that made it's way on to the Internet. If you're familiar, you know it's proof that I do get a little long-winded. And as a side note to the fellas, when in doubt, maybe a text message is nice...I'm just saying. The more important purpose of this is that it is symbolic. When I was where you now are, I gave no thought to the passage of time, no thought to the sand in my hourglass, so to speak. But as I stand here today, I am painfully aware of how much sand is in the bottom and how quickly it piles up there. And if you believe nothing else that I tell you today, believe me that a year will become five, will become 10 and you wake up one morning and you don't recognize the bald-headed guy looking back at you in the mirror. For the ladies that analogy doesn't work quite so well, unless you marry a bald-headed guy, and you'll probably find him quite charming, because really we have no other option.

Van Pelt continues to be our favorite "SportsCenter" anchor, and not just because he constantly references "Flight Of The Conchords." (Though that helps.) We might find it strange that a major American university would ask a "SportsCenter" anchor to address their graduates, but if they had to pick one, they picked the right one.

Scott Van Pelt, Charge to the Graduates, Winter 2007 Commencement [University of Wisconsin]