"Attention: It's 5 p.m., and the San Francisco Zoo is now closed. If you are still here by 5:15, we will release the tigers. Thank you." Yes, a tiger got loose at the SF Zoo on Tuesday, mauling three people, one of whom died. Tragic, to be sure; but imagine the mayhem if it would have been a Fuck Lion. I shudder to think. The most feared of all jungle beasts will be forever immortalized here, because you have voted it the Deadspin Word of the Year. Yes, we realize that it's two words. But our Sports Human of the Year award last year went to a horse, so I'm not too worried about it.
There were 16 nominees, and we were going to have a runoff election; but Fuck Lion was such a runaway choice that we decided to forgo further balloting. It doubled the vote of the No. 2 choice, "Schrutebag." Come to think of it, I'd like to see Schrutebag locked in a cage with Fuck Lion for a few hours. "Aw, don't bother them; they're in love."
It was quite touching when Marques Slocum himself came up to the podium to accept the award, and thanked his mom, Carla.
Sadly, my choice, "Stabby," finished a distant 14th. See you next year!