What to watch while trying to figure out why David Beckham is trying to kill us all...
To Watch TonightS
The Wire and more of tonight's best television, after the jump...

• Drug Dealing: The Wire. Kick. Ass. [HBO]
• Animation: The Simpsons. Wiggum '08 indeed, my friend. [FOX]
• Quasi-Sports: American Gladiators. Holy crap, thank you TiVo, God of the DVR. [NBC]