So, big sports news here in Toledo. After the minor league hockey team went on hiatus, they're returning soon, along with an arena football team, in a brand new sports arena. And here's where you start caring, because the new football team might be called the Toledo Peckerheads.
The organization which owns the new hockey and arena league teams has already applied for rights to use "Walleye" and "Woodpecker," both of which are indigenous to Ohio, but only one of which could really injure someone if they peck their little beak in your eye. (Hint: it's not the walleye. Good guess, though.)
But county commissioner Ben Konop, despite his boyish good looks, is not at all amused at the thought of the Toledo Woodpeckers. Why? I don't understand the objection.
These are the people's teams and the people's arena, and the public has spoken—woodpeckers not welcome in Lucas County!
I for one welcome the woodpecker to Northwest Ohio to be the mascot for our hockey and/or arena league team, and hope that... wait a minute... OH! I get it now. It's a penis joke.