Deadspin
Against all our better judgment, we headed to the Pink Taco today for Media Day. We had heard from pretty much everyone we know who covers sports for a living that it's a full platter of ridiculousness and that it wasn't worth our time. Hearing that made us think we absolutely had to go. We should have listened.
That is to say: Media Day is a waste of time for everyone, and that doesn't just mean the players and the media. Even the dope gimmick folks, the lady who wanted to marry Brady, or "The Tonight Show"'s Kelly Pickler (an actual collaboration which tells you all you need to know about both Pickler and "The Tonight Show"), or the mock astrologists (as if there were any other kind), seemed generally bored with their schtick. Everyone felt like they were going through the motions; it's Media Day ... we have to do something CRAZY!
Everyone kept telling us beforehand that it was a "circus," but that's an insult that would cause P.T. Barnum to turn over in his grave. A circus at least attempts to entertain. Media Day is 40 different press conferences going on at once, with neither the subject nor the interviewer even pretending to stifle their yawns, while an occasional Spanish language reporter shimmies by in something slinky while reports make a mental note to hit the Blue Moon strip club tonight. The whole thing was empty, stale air ... and that was the best part. The schtick was the comedic equivalent of 30 separate Jay Leno monologues; it was like watching a public access reality show, punctuated by a vague, "Hey, isn't that Trent Dilfer?" smidgen of recognition.
We were so discouraged that we couldn't even make it through the whole thing. Sorry: Trust us, empty space is more entertaining that what we'd have for you here had we stayed.
Stadium looks great, though.
Comments
The Steinz reported that you were within 10 feet of Chris Berman and you two didn't come to blows. For shame.
Of course the stadium looks great. Only Pink Taco in the bunch.
I see red, much like fans of the Buzzsaw do as the team blows yet another game.
this is just the kind of hard-hitting journalism I expect from our feerless leader(s)...
me thinks simmons will says it was the best thing ever
I thought you said you got pictures of Media Day. That looks like a Cardinals home game to me.
Media Day at the Pink Taco?
Uhh, Will... if you didn't have fun there, you ain't a gringo.
But you don't look anything like Trent Dilfer, Will.
@Ray: +2, one for all the Buzzsaw's wins in the last 15 years.
Wow, Leno really took one on the chin from you. Hope you didn't break your hand.
You should have sent Daulerio in his cheerleader costume.
Truthfully, Will made a run for it when he saw Hirshey down on the 20 yard line trying to railroad the kid from Scholastic News to interview his hot young author.
When the Eagles were in the Super Bowl, TSN let one of their linemen do some "reporting".
Most of the conversations went like this:
"Hey, man, I'm workin' for TSN today!"
"What the hell is TSN?"
"It's like, I don't know, like Canadian ESPN or sumthin."
"Awwww, cool. Buenos dias y'all!"
@The Old 717: That depends on two things. A) A team from Boston being involved (check), and B) that he bother writing a column this week.
Must be a nice gig to only have to come up with an article based on things you wrote years ago every couple of weeks.
Well hello, Ines Gomez Short Bus. We'll have great times together. And by "great times" I mean "endless passionate sex".
[DUANjack]
You decide the greatest Super Bowl ever.
Nightmare Pig.
[/End DUANjack, ducks gunfire.]
Will- why no pictures of the big pink taco vagina out in front of the stadium? Wait- New Orleans? When? Oh that's just stupid.
@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: The top 7 ever since 1989...hold on...I need to take my hear medication.
All I'm saying is that Sh!tshow once killed a small child.
That's it.
@Kid Canada: Well to be fair, most NFL players don't speak Canadian.
@Reasonable Doubt for a Reasonable Price:
He's got my vote then.
the "access" portion of this site's mantra took a vacation today. I hope it was worth it to your soul
@racistmascot_inc: He also thinks Santana is better than Sabathia.
Im gonna be ticked if Will didnt ask at least 1 player to reflect on the year since we lost Barbaro.
So it's me vs. Yostal, huh? You know it's ugly when you can't even justify voting for yourself.
"You know, it is so fashionable to take a shot at Jay Leno. Look, the fact is the man is out there every bloody night with fresh material and he's charming."
@Crookednose: If it makes you feel better, I haven't seen discretion around here since valor took two in the back of the head from a 289 Photoshop back in September.
@Crookednose: It's not access if you're there to mock the notion of access.
[Sorry, I'm hip deep into the media section of God Save the Fan and all of the sudden, I feel like leading a revolution and wondering why we ever put print journalists on television.]
Precious Roy is Jerramy Stevens' defense attorney.
@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program: Are we going to get any final stats from the first round?
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: Good sir, you are a worthy foe, and I look forward to a fine and spirited contest built upon ideas and vision for the future.
So I was forced to read a Redbook while waiting at the doctor's office today. Did you know, 64% of men are attracted to a woman in a pencil skirt or short blouse?
Fuck this voting thing. It is so goddamned stupid.
/Didn't get nominated.
@ClueHeywood: It's better to be like Switzerland in this instances, neutral and generally avoided. Then the mountains open and the nukes start flying and everyone goes "WHAT THE FUCK, I THOUGHT YOUT JUST MADE CHOCOLATE AND WATCHES?!"
@Chloroform Monster: Well since I have no idea what a pencil skirt it, no, I did not know that.
@Hank Scorpio: I don't know either, but my personal favorite was "79% of men like a woman who shows more leg than less leg". Who the hell was sitting around thinking "Ya, I'd really be attracted to her, but I wish her blouse was just a foot longer."
@Chloroform Monster: The Taliban.
And having googled "pencil skirt" I was reminded I'm generally a fan of skirts in pretty much any above the knee form.
@Chloroform Monster: the other 21% were trying to bed heather mills.
Reasonable Doubt is Dee Mirich's Deadspin commentor name. Vote Wahoo. Commit to the Indian!
@Jehovahs Witness Protection Program:
You can't trust someone who's got a two piece head. Why do you think you can trust Kid Canada?
Vote for me.
@Hank Scorpio: Shi'ites gone salacious? These gals are willing to show you their chin if it'll make your dick grin?
..I'd buy that.
@Hank Scorpio: I had a theory in college that ANY girl would look good in a sundress, boots and cowboy hat. Then one day I met a girl who didnt. Wanna talk about nightmare feul
Not pictured - AJ pissing into the fondue mix at one of the MOTHERFUCKING WHY IS THERE A FONDUE STAND AT THE PINK TACO.
@Yostal: I look forward to a fine and spirited contest built upon ideas and vision for the future.
Who do you think you're running against? I plan to rely on suggestive pictures and sympathy votes.
Seriously though, as a commenter I'm dwarfed by your contributions here...there's no way I should top you in this round.
@Chief Wahoo: Fuck me, I already lost. The Indians have been genocided and are going to the res where we will flourish on casinos and tax-free cigarette sales. Farewell white devils!
Are we onto the second round? Am I still alive? If so, who am I facing?
@UkraineNotWeak: Hey, Baby.
@Tracy Ham and Eggs as played by Walter Mondale: I used to feel that way about girls and pushup bras, and then I met a girl with what I can only describe as trucker tits.
So far apart you can drive a truck between them. It shook me to the very core.
@TheStarterWife: I forgot that you went to this stadium. Clearly I have missed out on the advances in overpriced food court fare.
Fondue seems a little too...I don't know what for live football.
@FiddlingWhileJimRomeBurns: In the end, we're just playing for the right to get our ass kicked in the Boston Regional Sweet Sixteen game against Ukraine Not Weak, so for now, good luck, godspeed, and remember, only you can prevent forest fires.
@j-no:
You?
Still donating funds to Hamas?
@TheStarterWife: Pat Tillman stuck his soup can into the fondue pot before each game to get up enough righteous anger to destroy his competition that day. It was bronzed in his honor, much like the Army tried to do to Tillman himself after his death.
/Super Bowl cabin fever