Deadspin
How often do we get the opportunity to mention Patricia Hearst, Jimmy Carter and the Westminster Kennel Club dog show in the same post? Very rarely. It all happened on Monday, as Hearst (or Tania to her friends) and her pooch Diva, the French bulldog, took one of the trophies at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show at Madison Square Garden. It was "Best Of Opposite Sex," whatever that means. And you know, there's nothing like clicking on a story about a dog show and getting paragraphs like this:
The granddaughter of William Randolph Hearst gained her greatest notoriety in 1974 when, as a 19-year-old, she was kidnapped in 1974 by the radical group the Symbionese Liberation Army. She later was photographed holding a gun while robbing a California bank and eventually spent almost two years in prison. Her sentence was commuted by former president Jimmy Carter, and former president Bill Clinton later gave her a full pardon.
What the ... I just wanted to see how the rough collie did!
The overall winner? Uno the beagle, who, to my knowledge, has no ties to subversive revolutionary groups. His victory was not without controversy, however.
Uno the beagle turned Madison Square Garden into his own big, green backyard. He barked and bayed. He nipped at a newly printed sign. He tried to grab his leash. He took a flying leap at a piece of filet mignon.
Sounds like Tony Siragusa's first season as a sideline reporter.
Patty Hearst And French Bulldog Win Award At Westminster Dog Show [The Canadian Press]
Uno The Beagle Wins Early At Westminster [Associated Press]
(More on the dog show later today, from our special Dog Show correspondent.)
Comments
I'll start the obligatory thread full of Fred Willard quotes:
"Now tell me, which one of these dogs would you want to have as your wide receiver on your football team?"
"And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten."
Uno the beagle turned Madison Square Garden into his own big, green backyard. He barked and bayed. He nipped at a newly printed sign. He tried to grab his leash. He took a flying leap at a piece of filet mignon.
So what they're saying is that the dog is better-mannered than Zeke?
Dog show coverage on a "sports" blog? Since when?
In Soviet Russia, Patty Hearst kidnaps you.
Were there any lions riding horses? No? Not interested.
It's Crazy Dogggz... three G's and a Z.
Al Swearengen's grandson thinks Patricia Hearst can go get herself fucked.
Word on the street is that Uno the Beagle is backed by The Shining Path.
"Uno the beagle turned Madison Square Garden into his own big, green backyard. He barked and bayed. He nipped at a newly printed sign. He tried to grab his leash. He took a flying leap at a piece of filet mignon."
That's what you get for dropping a Wild Draw Four on Uno's beagle ass!
"Best of Opposite Sex" means that if a dog won, the award goes to the best bitch, and if a bitch won, the award goes to the best dog.
/yes, my dog is an AKC champion
But how did Mr. Rocky Balboa and Mr. Bojangles do?
After a six pack, probably.
I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season, put a little money on the beagles!
@BigTenObsession:
Isn't that also how the Source Awards works?
So did Uno celebrate with a Mexican Fiesta filled with a mariachi?
@BigTenObsession: How many kimonos do you pack when you take your dog to a competition?
A resounding fuck yes to Patty Hearst. I'd love to let her take some of that Stockholm Syndrome out on me in the bedroom. I hear the SLA are freaks in the sack.
@UkraineNotWeak:
'Lil Kim is not amused at being called a bitch, good sir!
It's not about talent at Westminster... it's all who you hump.
@VTBen: Pine nut...cashew nut...walnut...hazelnut...macadamia nut...pistachio nut...red pistachio nut...natural colored pistachio nut...
The beagle wasn't the overall winner. Just the winner of the Hound group. Best In Show is tonight.
We love talking, and not talking. We could not talk or talk forever and still find things to not talk about.
I can do this all day, people--I love Best in Show.
@Spaceman Bill Leah:
That is correct. And I believe that no beagle has ever won Westminster. That said, I'm still watching Purdue-MSU.
Beagles FTW!!
Barbaro sighs.
@Gourmet Spud:
Probably great-grandson.
If you're hungry eat, if you're tired, sleep.
@BigTenObsession: I will be watching because I like to think that maybe my demented boxer will learn something by seeing all the nice, well-behaved doggies on tv.
@Spaceman Bill Leah: Thanks for clearing that up. What channel is it on tonight? Trying to do a process of elimination about what to watch tonight.
@BigTenObsession: Or you just read the thirteenth paragraph of the story, either or.
@EditorOfTheDailyFaberian:
We don't show him anymore - we prefer him as a pet. Not to get too serious, but my dog's brother gets invited to Westminster every year as one of the top 25 Italian Greyhounds in the country, and every year his breeder expresses to us how disappointed she is that we didn't continue to show my dog because he could have been even better.
@Spaceman Bill Leah: Will you try the same technique with the baby?
@BigTenObsession: @S.O.L.: You just made my night.
Fucking A right! Our beagles will rule the world, one overexcited freak out at a time.
THANKS A LOT, YOU STUPID...HOTEL MANAGER!
@Clare: They should put a pipe and a Sherlock Holmes cap on the bloodhound.
@Stev D: "If you're hungry, get yourself something to eat, and if you're dirty, then go take a bath. Messed up the line? Nope. Sometimes I don't rhyme.
Humpty-ized.
I don't think I could ever get used to being poked and prodded like that. I told my proctologist one time, "Why don't you take me out to dinner and a movie sometime?"
@Clare: Harlan Pepper, you stop naming nuts!
@Tuffy:
What could she possibly let the baby watch as an example?
@Tuffy: No, I just make him watch hockey. And baseball when that starts.
@S.O.L.: USA I believe.
"How much do you think I can Bench press? Go ahead, guess."
@rachel_nichols_is_hot:
But did Uno remember to bark "Uno" when he had one trick remaining? Otherwise it doesn't count.
You know what's awesome? Feeding your buddy's chihuahua a plate of Hormel chili and hearing reports that it farted it's little brains out the whole time his girlfriend was visiting.
@Clare: That's ... that's the least like a bee of any of the ones here.
I was awarded "Best of Opposite Sex" by a sorority once.
Ladies...
/actually went to a school with no fraternities or sororities
@kayceebk: Bloodhound doggie. You're a bloodhound doggie.
@VTBen: How much do you think I can bench press? Go on, ask me.
Actual true story: I went to a dog show at the Cow Palace in Daly City once (a group of my grad student friends were bored and poor, and it was the only free event listed in the paper for that day) and had the following conversation with one of the dog wranglers:
Her: See that dog over there? He's the best beagle in America.
Me: Well, he looks like a pretty good beagle, but I dunno....
Her: [through clenched teeth, rage rapidly rising] HE'S THE BEST BEAGLE IN AMERICA!!!
@GoldManGold: Damn you!
@Phony Gwynn: This? This is a fish. This is a fish! You know what? Just shut up. I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked for a toy that YOU DON'T HAVE!
I love Parker Posey.
Patty Hearst is kinda hot. I think I have a weird machine-gun fetish.
i went to a dog show in korea once. they called it a buffet though.
@Clare:
HARLAN PEPPER YOU QUIT NAMIN' NUTS!