Deadspin
Mr. Mortensen, ESPN's NFL reporter who isn't a cranky old coot, has been on the air less and less in recent years. We always enjoyed him bickering with Bill Parcells, back when they were on NFL Countdown together. Mr. Mortensen certainly receives some credit for siring an actual, real live football player, and for being a former military man.
That is to say: He could definitely beat up Jim Gray.
Anyway, do you like the Chris Mortensen? Do you not like the Chris Mortensen? Let us know.
And by that, we mean, "Vote," because it's February, and it's a slow sports month.
Comments
Mort just reported everyone approves. or maybe they don't. but maybe they do. wait, wait. ok, now he's just guessing.
1% reporting. CNN Projects that Mort will be approved. The superdelegates really helped him out here.
Mort just reported that Da_Mang approves.
"Eli Manning will miss up to a month with a seperated shoulder."
/Oopth
//Disapproves
@The Diesel: Denny Green is who Chris thought he was?
Chris Mortensen, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball.
I approve of him overall, but disapprove of him ending all his chats with "God Bless." I deserve and require a separation of church and sports.
Over the past year, Mort has displayed a knack for being so completely wrong on almost every count that even Baghdad Bob thinks he's out of credibility.
ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Debbie Clemens will sign with the Denver Broncos.
This just in, ESPN's Chris Mortensen just reported Leitch will never see a vagina not made of plastic.
So, If Chris Mortensen can sire an athlete, what can Chris Berman can sire? A field of poppies?
Do you "like like" me or just "like" me?
• Yes
• No
• Maybe
• I don't know
Didn't he vote for the war before he voted against it?
TMQ just shitted on Mort's predictions from 2007. And if Easterbrook can do it, so can I !
/Disapproves.
The tornado disapproves of Mort.
@El Gran Guapo: Good, we need some more help on the D-line.
ESPN's Chris Mortensen reports that Deadspin's Will Leitch reports that ESPN's Chris Mortensen is in the lead!
Chris Mortensen > Mort Kondracke
I don't know who the hell he is. I'm just voting for the basketball tickets.
The tornado that destroyed his house made its opinion very clear.
I think this guy once sold me a car.
ESPN'S Chris Mortensen reports he disapproves of his own approvability.
Yeah, he's ok.
5 years ago, I would have approved. Nowadays, Mort spends too much time jetting from home in ATL, to local studios for remotes, and then to Bristol for game-day duties. It's obvious that the jet-setting has made his brain incapable of processing thoughts any quicker than Kige on a good day.
I've had enough of your American broadcasting bias here. When do we get a chance to vote for Ron MacLean?
I half-expected every person up for voting to get a 2:1 margin of disapproval.
Disapprove. I always figured they kept off off the main Countdown set because he was smelly.
ESPN's Jayson Stark reports that ESPN's Chris Mortensen has no comment.
He's so wrong, he's right. It's like it's Opposite Day every day when he wakes up.
/Stamp o' Approval
I approve his Selma killing policy but disapprove of his Bart killing policy.
Fred Edelstein hates all of this.
I'm going to wait to vote on this one until I see Jaws breaking down some film on the guy.
What do other people say? I feel an enormous amount of pressure to get this right. I want to win that car!
@Mmole:
Mortimer Snerd > Chris Mortensen > Mort Kondracke
Is Mort Now?
@Dany Heatley Speedwagon: I don't know if Mclean will get a vote, but I truly disapprove of Scott Oake's horrible comb-over.
Mort wants his eyebrows back, now.
I approve on a general basis, though he hasn't had a good last coupla years.
@UkraineNotWeak: If not Now, When?
@The Sports Hernia: Based on that picture, they were load-bearing eyebrows. Help Mort before his face collapses!
Chris Mortensen murdered Pete Axthelm.
/still undecided
@strong like bull smart like tractor: Mort is doing his "Spicoli" in that photo.
Chris Mortensen reports that for 2008, he will part his hair from the opposite direction.
@Peter Cavan: soon
his son is my team's 4th string QB, of course I like the guy
@roland_t_flakfizer: How soon is now?
/Morrisey
Mort is the NFL equivalent of Tom Hagen, the efficient and servile mafioso mouthpiece played by Robert Duvall in "The Godfather." His dons are coaches, GMs and owners.
For my money, I'll take TMQ, who has the stones to cry foul when "Spygate" was quickly swept under the rug by Goodell, the Pats and by suck-up media insiders who live on the teat of the league.
Mort may have once been a great reporter, but for the last few years on the WWL, he's been suffering from a severe case of Stockholm syndrome.
@Weed Against Speed: you just missed it.
ESPN's Christ Mortensen reports that tornados are not as loud as you think they would be.
@Weed Against Speed:
"Mr. Spicoli, why are you continuously late to class?"
"I don't know"
Fast Times has been on HBO a lot lately.
Mort does a weekly segment on LeBatard's show down here in Miami.
I have learned that he can take a joke and still be super serious football information guy at the same time.
Vote for Mortensen, come on!
This comment was paid for Fictional Magicians for Chris Mortensen.
I disapprove, he told Jason Krause to stay away from Randy Moss in his fantasy draft. Bastard.
I'm voting "Yes" for Mort and saving all my "incorrect report" hatred for Sal Palantonio.