Quinn Buckner as Mercury Morris?

Guess it depends on the amount of coke he's got.

It is springtime and Chris Douglas-Roberts is as happy as a little girrlllll.

@Rob Iracane: +1

We need more Mercury Morris, not less!

Call me when they're crashing into apartment.

@NYJ ... 1000%

Don't call me when they're on my campus. Call me when they're in my quad.

Marc Cohn is completely behind Memphis going undefeated as well as anything else that doesn't involve getting shot in the head.

Its always fun when a season's win total surpasses the graduation rate.

Every year when the last undefeated team finally goes down, the 1972 Indiana squad celebrates with Natty Light and roofies.

@SMISS ... 89%

That team is a bunch of marshmallows.

Does this mean Coach John Calipari will be meeting with Arlen Specter after March?

you can't go undefeated if you only shoot 50% from the line.

Tulane will beat them. Why go out and play unless you think you are going to win?

/Ryan Dempster

That Tennessee game is going to be a doozy, huh?

If they don't go undefeated in Conference USA it's a disappointment.

@StreakinTheQuad: exactly. this is why I always pick Memphis to lose in the tourney no later than the Elite Eight round.

Glad you put in Division I.

My alma mater (D-III St John Fisher) laughs at your feeble attempts for a perfect regular season.

2004-05.

25-0.

Oh, they ended up 29-1 after bombing out in the Elite Eight.

But I prefer not to remember that debacle of a game.

"Marc Cohn is completely behind Memphis going undefeated as well as anything else that doesn't involve getting shot in the head."

So, he's against Duquesne.

@Afino: Yeah, but they lost style points in that tight one against the Illinois School for the Deaf and Blind

That would be a shitty Reebok ad.

An all-star team from the rest of Conference USA excluding Memphis would still finish last in any other real conference

@Al_Czerviks_Ride:

Yeah, but they had a good road win against the Delaware Quadrapalegics.

@Prime Susspect: Also, Baylor.

I miss the Jambaroo.

Dear [Memphis opponent here],

If you beat Memphis tonight, you might as well spend your recruiting money on juice boxes and Fruit Roll-Ups until you're fired. You'll never see a blue-chipper again.

Affectionately,
Uncle Wes

@blackheartededitor: A Thursday without a Jamboroo is hardly a Thursday at all.

@Bob Sheppards Flock: I'm not so sure about that. Have you seen my Scarlet Knights play? Yikes. Our women's team would destroy them.

Mike Davis will do his part to further destroy Bobby Knight's legacy when UAB is crushed by Memphis.

@Afino:

D-III Elite Eight? Tim Welsh laughs at your lack of D-III rings...

@muggsybogues:
Yes, I think the winning percentages are a bit misleading...uh I think SEC has a tougher strength of schedule
/total homer

@lisa: Whatever. The Big ten is so much better.
/Puts down script
/Runs away from lit dynamite

It has now become my mission to make sure that John Calipari mysteriously disappears.

Can someone get me John Chaney's number?

The Hawk Will Never Die.

@Ray: AH! Take me back, Ray!!

@Al_Czerviks_Ride:
Duly noted.
/googles ds name
/plans to retaliate

Memphis fans: Just keep in mind that it's all fun and games until Eli Manning arrives and fucks it all up.

Memphis fans: Just keep in mind that you play in bleeping Conference USA.. your undefeated season is about as meaningful as the JV team's record..

@Bob Sheppards Flock: Northwestern begs to differ. They aren't in the Big Ten cellar, they are so bad they are in a sealed bunker several hundred feet below the cellar.

Memphis in C-USA is a joke, though.