V-Day Plans Of The "Stars"

We don't mean to harp on John Rocker lately; as we've said, we legitimately like the guy. We think it's probably because we've been impersonating him so much on this book tour. He has gotten in our head. We aren't quite ready to admit that we were wondering what he and the lovely Alicia Marie were up to this Valentine's Day, but now that the Atlanta Journal-Constitution has asked for us, we'll go ahead and publish the answer.

It sounds nicer than what you're doing for Valentine's Day.

"Alicia Marie and I will be at a spa for a couples' massage, going to a live jazz club and spending the night at a posh hotel - champagne, strawberries in the room - where a personal chef is going to come and prepare dinner. Piece of Cake in Buckhead is making a special Valentine's Day cake for after dinner."

Sheesh, he's got a pretty lucrative post-baseball career, we guess. Other highlights include Magic coach Stan Van Gundy taking his wife to a Van Halen concert and Falcons owner Arthur Blank making it absolutely clear that he loves animals by giving his wife a cat. They should all just skip it and just go to a book reading. Or, you know, sit alone and cry, realizing death will be solitary.

Valentine's Day Plans Vary For Sports Personalities [Atlanta Journal Constitution]