Three plane crashes.....Yankees, Red Sox and Blue Jays.

Sorry, Orioles fans.

Kim Possible? Really?

I mean, "I see what you did there."

And Eli Manning is Ron Stoppable.

Scott Kazmir sounds like he's gotten one "boom bitch" too many from Delmon Young in the off-season.

I'd say that there are only 6 teams who are definitely better than the Rays in the AL, and even one of those is questionable.

Outside of the 5 elite teams (Cleveland, Detroit, New York, LAA and Boston), I don't see why the Rays couldn't end up being the 6th best AL team. Of course, that wouldn't land them int he playoffs, but they have more of a chance that the Orioles, A's and Rangers do.

So let me get this straight...

Ryan Dempster says that the defending divisional champion Cubs are going to the World Series = hilarity ensues.

Scott Kazmir says the Rays, who have never finished above .500 in franchise history, could go to the playoffs = Meh.

Good. Just checking.

Ya know, I have no trouble believing that a Disney cartoon character has better control than Kazmir.

Is that Erin E-Surance? Cause I think she's hot.

@notthequarterback: In his defense, Kazmir has high hopes.

And we can only hope Dempster was high.

You have no chance dawg.

/Elijiahfied

You guys hit like a bunch of old men that fought in the Spanish-American War, which hasn't even been fought yet! I'd like to take the whole lot of you and thrash you with this hand. Then bash you with this hand, then take both hands and give you a massage just to loosen you up!

this one just came out of the swamp

O AN HE SEXY

Evan Longoria is going to be playing third base. That has got to be good for distracting the other team's batters...right?

Scott Kazmir keeps trying to sell me esurance.

SteakGrowsOnDmitri: what in the FUCK is kim possible

The only way the rays are gonna play in October is if Selig decides to move the season back a few months to have a few more steroid hearings
That or Citizen Eco makes a watch commercial with Scott Kazmir. Those dudes know how to pick a winner way before everyone else does

man, kim's pouty lip bite is soooooo friggin' hot...

what?

@Chief Wahoo: Why would it be? Kazmir can't even esure anyone that he'll make it past the 5th.

@supermike4ever: Scott Kazmir thinks that if you try the best you can, if you try the best you can, that the best you can is good enough.

The Rays will never win as long as they keep being the Menudo of baseball.

@Greek McPapadopoulos: some day i am going to grow wings.

@notthequarterback: As long as we continue to own the cards, we will survive. Of course our method of doing this is killing their pitchers off one at a time.

I LOVE you for including a picture of Kim Possible in that Rays uniform.

Also! Back in 2004, I saw this post on a D-Rays message board (don't ask), and I saved it. Yes, I've saved it for 4 years. It still makes me chuckle. Aw, Rays fans are so cute:

Okay, so we dropped one series. Let's look at the big pic here: We are just below .500 going into the All Star break, we have TALENT galore, and we are gonna ROCK our division's WORLD for the second half of the season and maybe even take the wild card spot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So: It's all good, really. We lost four games. To the Yanks. End of story, we go on, and we clinch the wild card spot, and we then win the playoffs and the World Series! What's not to love? Even if that doesn't come to pass, and even if the season ended right now, today, I would be bursting with pride over the 2004 Rays! We have come a long way, baby!

@racistmascot_inc: To leave the Jays behind the Rays is beyond my comprehension? Do you have inside information that both A.J. Burnett & B.J. Ryan have those arms completely detach from their bodies by 30th April?

someone put the purple kool-aid in the rays' gatorade

There's a better chance for the Kashmir dispute to be settled by October than for Kazmir to be right.

had no idea who "Kim Possible" is, so I googled, and umm yeah...

[toonfamilies.net]

@supermike4ever: ahh, supermike. Hysterical and useless, hysterical and useless.

Of course it's Kazmir.

Steve Phillips couldn't be hired as GM by all ten of those teams, could he?

@IchiroSuzukiSamurai:
You could ask ESPN for help with that.

I approve of Christmas Ape.

some daaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

@Nationalcoholic: /performs Heimlich with all of manchild strength

@Hit Bull Win Steak: Slider of Death wants to know: Does the carpet match the drapes?