Shouldn't it be the "Babe Ruth Memorial Martini Bar and Whorehouse"?

I just hope the stall doors extend all the way to the floor...

@Drederick Tatum: It would also be nice if they called all the season ticket holders to tell them when a game is rained out. Or offered fitted hats to fans.

I drink in every stadium. But the beer is pretty expensive.

Sure, it looks gorgeous now, but how nice is it going to look when everyone is standing in urine?

/Norm MacDonald

I'll have an HGH martini please.

Sure it looks nice now. Then all the C.H.U.D.s and pimps come out.

Photshopped. Too many sleeves.

@Matt_T:

Served by a lifelike Jason Giambi robot!

Not pictured: the endless loop of George Steinbrenner screaming "WE GO THE EXTRA MILE FOR OUR FANS!!!!!" that will be played over the PA under the stands at 144 dB.

Looks like where I would go to check my luggage.

Architectural renderings never include pee-stained floors, the smell of rotten trash and in this case, black people.

Looks like there are a lot of corporate, suit types in this new stadium. So it'll pretty much be like the current version.

Yankee Stadium: burn it to the ground. Keep half the Yankees fans innit, please.

@Secret Identity: or the Billy Martin-i bar?

Obviously, Yankee Stadium is a much nicer place when there are no Yankee fans actually in it.

I speak for volumes when I say I can't wait for the new Stadium to open. If you believe in curses, the curse of blowing up the ol' Stadium may keep them out of the World Series until 2085.

These are the only fans that managed to sneak past the usher-nazis during "God Bless America".

Keep the Martinis. Give me an Old Style.

I'll be having my drinks at A-Rod's Sea Breeze Saloon, thank you very much.

For $10, you get to five minutes in the "Corey Lidle Flight Simulator" ride. Strap those seat-belts!

Looks great until you fill it with Yankee fans.

@Rob Iracane: I see you want a lyrical re-write for Miami 2017.

That's a lot of surface area for the Sunshine Carpet Cleaners to take care of.

Will they bury Billy Crystal at home plate? Please?

But the Yankees will still be there. No thanks. The real baseball fans in this town stay in Queens.

@Weed Against Speed: Is that right next to the A-Rod Sausage and Peppers kiosk?

Alcoholic Chicken Martini's brought to you by Tyler Chicken.

I don't see why they need a new stadium, they seem to lose just fine in the current one.

Is the lock-up named after Jim Leyritz?

@Hextall454: Billy Joel references are ban-worthy.

The escalators are for Mariano Rivera.

@muggsybogues:

The best baseball player in that town is a Queen.

/truth'd

@Weed Against Speed: The A-Rod Sub Shop will look like a real submarine. It will also be filled with seaman.

@Brazil Thrill: get five minutes would work too.

That martini bar is a great way to get a bunch of 19 year old kids to puke on a hot summer night.

Yeah, it looks spacious in the renderings, but those concourses are going to be difficult to maneuver when it's Goodyear Tire Giveaway Night.

(Do the Yankees even do giveaways? I'm genuinely curious.)

@Brazil Thrill:

Concrete Brad is already in line.

I'm more concerned with if they're going to move Stan's down the street...

I mean... fuck. Do they still have booze-free bleachers? 'Cause if so, they can honestly go feel a tit for all I care. Making me hide my whiskey in a juice bottle like a damn high-schooler at a Dave Matthews concert? Pshh.

I know how I feel about drinking at a martini bar in the Bronx. Same way I feel about drinking just anything, anywhere: yes, please.

At the old Yankee Stadium, my brother's friend got his Red Sox hat ripped off his head, passed around the bleachers, and courteously returned to him full of the collective loogies of the entire section. Does the new Yankee Stadium include a venue appropriate to host such activities?

@The Teufel Shuffle: If Yankee Stadium was really cursed, the Yanks should have started being cursed circa 1974, when they ripped up the original version. The model they play in now kinda looks like Yankee Stadium if it was designed by the DMV.

But yeah, the new one looks gorgeous. I've almost killed myself several times trying to get a better glimpse of it when I'm driving up/down the Deegan.

I take it the martini bar is to counter the new Mets stadium's "Newports & 40s Hut".

As long as A-Rod can order a cosmo.....

@Clare: Yes. My parents have a closet full of batting helmets and miniature bats to prove it.

@MattinglysSideburns:

That secondary sponsorship with Mickey's is really working out well.

As long as i can bowl after the game at Ball park lanes across the street from Yankee stadium I'm all set.

@UpstateUnderdog:

Unfortunately, I will no longer be able to obtain vehicle parts of questionable quality and dubious provenance across the street from CitiField.

But, will they serve farm-fresh eggs?

As long as i get my bag back after the game at Ball park lanes across the street from Yankee stadium I'm all set.

I can't tell you how much I hate that.

@MattinglysSideburns: I'll take that over the Yanks' Apple-tini Lounge.

You wanna sell martinis at a ballgame? Fine, whatever. I'm sure most new stadiums have upscale bars where you can get that kinda stuff. Not sure why somebody would want a martini at a ballgame, but hey, to each his own.

But having a place that calls itself The Martini Bar, with an eye towards cultivating the pink-hat-wearing crowd that's gonna attract? Fucking weak.

Maybe the new facilities will allow them to finally go out there and lure some high-priced free agents who will help them not win a World Series.

Miller Park has a cool virtual reality booth that simulates what it would be like to have a normal BMI.

How long before someone "accidentally" loses the "I" in "MARTINI BAR"?

(think about it... think about it....)

@Secret Identity: Affirmed. That shit in the Daily News about how he wish he would have signed with the NYM made me flip out a little bit.

I heard Rudy Giuliani's political career was buried under the pitcher's mound.