Deadspin
What is it about that vast field of indoor turf that compels individuals to sashay onto it? Was it the powder blue throwbacks? That's the only excuse I'm taking on an otherwise standard Blue Jays opening night. Toronto beat the visiting Red Sox 6-3, thanks to Frank Thomas's go-ahead double. Roberto Alomar threw out the first pitch and was honored before the game, being put in the Blue Jays Level of Excellence. Fancy! I hear it has a Cinnabon.
Now, I'm not saying that girl's fat, but I am saying David Eckstein inquired after the game if her navel is available for rent.
No, No, Away From The Middle Of The Plate. We all knew this. The Giants season will be a work-in-progress. Jonathan Sanchez, Keiichi Yabu and Brad Hennessey learned the hard way that pitches down the middle of the plate? Well, those tend to turn into extra base hits, some of which land beyond the fances. Bill Hall had two such hits, finishing the day 3-for-5 with 6 RBI in a 13-4 rout of the Giants on Milwaukee's Opening Day. No non-streaking streakers were seen on the field, but there will be more Brewers shenanigans later on in the day, so stay tuned.
Why Detroit Should Panic. Bud Selig, in an effort to fight any potential waning interest in the sport, sped up the league on his video game to merely play a 23-game season. Every game in April counts. So now that the Detroit Tigers remain winless after an 8-5 loss to the White Sox, there are only 19 more games left to reach the playoffs. The trading deadline is next Thursday. And we're too far in the season to change the league settings to "Rookie." And you don't have enough room left on your memory card to start a new Franchise Mode. You're screwed, Detroit, and you're too much of a chicken to just hit the Reset button.
Six Months Too Late. When we last saw the Diamondbacks, they were getting swept right out of the NLCS. Now it's April, and Arizona was finally able to contain the Rockies bats in an 8-1 victory. Micah Owings struck out nine in 6 2/3 inning, allowing just two hits. Unfortunately, it's nearing the end of the second trimester of the Rockies championship, so trying to abort the pure and beautiful miracle that Colorado achieved last year might be considered feticide today. Please consult your local constable.
Down 11 Is The Perfect Time To Rally. The Texas Rangers had a blowout all wrapped up in California, but then Dustin Nippert happened. Bestowed an 11-0 lead in the ninth inning, Nippert promptly allowed six runs on five hits, leaving the mound with the game still in progress. Eddie "That's Where He Went" Guardado swooped in with two runners on base to get the final out and salvage the win, 11-6. Before the commotion, Ben Broussard hit a grand slam and Kasey Gabbard threw seven scoreless innings for the win.
Damn, it feels good to write a closer about a sport I understand.
Comments
Oh my god! She transported from 1986! She's a Terminator!
Brittney really has let herself go.
You've got it made with the guy in shades. The girl? Not so much.
I'm not saying that girl's fat
But you're not not saying that she's fat.
Fat? Wow. You guys are a tough crowd. She's definitely 2am and 3 beers worthy.
"No non-streaking streakers were seen on the field, but there will be more Brewers shenanigans later on in the day, so stay tuned."
Shit. Now what did we do?
I'll be optimistic and say that there will be a post about Ricky Weeks possibly breaking the MLB record for scoring a run in consecutive games. He can tie Kenny Lofton and Red Rolfe for the record today at 18. Set it tomorrow.
Kirstie Ally is a Jays fan. Did not see that one coming.
That's just her winter weight. Too bad for her, winter lasts for 9 months in Canada.
@I Party With Hansen:
It's not like I go on her blog and post pictures of my boiler, now is it?
Of course Bud Selig also has himself batting fourth with seven homeruns and 23 RBI's through four games already in his season as the Brewers star centerfielder.
To be fair, Eckstein could also fit in Gisele's belly button, if he folded his legs just right.
It's a shame what some people will do just to promote their new album. You're above that, Geddy Lee.
Wow Suss, two post's in 15 minutes, after not one for three hours.
Someone went back to bed after posting this morning soccer's post.
@I Party With Hansen: If you've only had three beers at 2 AM, you have bigger problems than this girl (but only slightly bigger).
She's not that big. Not sober-worthy, but I wouldn't need to be tanked to hit that.
I think I still have that same pair of sunglasses somewhere. I had to drink 3 cartons of Tropicana OJ and save up the postage & handling, but for a while I was the coolest kid in 2nd grade.
@Suss--:
so Eckstein's not just gritty, but linty?
Spud, you thought you were making a harmless joke, but now I might believe you.
Someone forgot to tell her that Canadians are no longer eligible to be Miss England.
[www.livenews.com.au]
She coulda been worse...
[i255.photobucket.com]
@twoeightnine: good thing I already ate breakfast. Normally I'd say no big deal (heh.) but she's supposed to be a beauty contestant???
/aww, hell, even I look better than that, and I'm just under 40.
//acknowledges double standard and hipocrisy
Even these drunken guys had less on than her.
[soxanddawgs.com]
She was auditioning for Youkilis to be the next Slump Buster model.
@Suss--:
He is at a ton of games, always on camera, and no one (not the t.v. crews, not the Jumbotron) ever acknowledges him. He's like a skinny, whiny part of the furniture at this point.
@Gourmet Spud: Dude; don't you know Geddy is a God? Blasphemer!
tough room ... that girl is the cute girl at Starbucks you flirt with sometimes, or the waitress your buddy thinks he has a shot with ... or the scary monster in the closet
although she did arrive in some sort of time vortex (as evidenced by the rubber shades and backpack purse) ... somebody warn Sarah Connor
What I love about her is her 3-cent little kid sunglasses.
I can't believe you, bodysuit man, could perpetrate such a disloyalty...
I'd hit that and then we'd go for Tim Horton's afterwards...
Geddy has a serious collection of baseball crap
@Chad Is Bringing Sexington Back: I'll see your Tim Hortons and raise you a Boston Pizza.
I've done a lot worse than her before
So did she find Ferris or not?
She looks good for some mooterbooting....
I thought we got rid of Bengie Molina a few years ago.
she ain't small, but she's got a decent rack and she'll take a dare to run onto a baseball field in the middle of the game, so the thoughts of jail don't scare her to much. so she's fun and a yes.
Big deal... a girl in my section flashed her tits. Of course every guy stood up so my view was obstructed. Assholes. Nothing beats the home opener... 50,000 in attendance... 45,000 who will never return for the rest of the season... thank god.
I've been to SkyDome (as it was then called) and I can understand how it could drive anyone to run out on the field in a bra with a bit of a paunch problem. Even guys.
All women know this rule: if you know someone is going to see you naked- you wear your best lingerie. You certainly don't wear your FLESH colored full-coverage bra. This rule applies for those in a relationship, hot dates, Valentine's Day, or any other time one is attempting to get laid.
I'll put myself out there as a woman and say that if you're planning on streaking (or whatever-the-fuck she's doing), the same rules apply. Thick jawn or not, I hope this at least prompts her to upgrade her lingerie game.
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