Deadspin
Where have you publicly evacuated when confronted with an overactive beer-filled bladder and nary a port-o-potty in site to relieve yourself during tailgating? Some duck behind cars and unleash right on the asphalt; others use their empty beer bottles as rudimentary urine containers.
In Milwaukee, makeshift toilets are proving to be a profitable business for some enterprising Brewers' fans. When last week's home opener left many cheese-wolfers standing in line for up to 30 minutes at the Port-O-Lets, others stepped up and charged money to those pee-pee dancing parking lot revelers. Those plucky kids at Walkoff Walk found this story in the Journal-Sentinel which broke down the other options:
• "One man set up a plywood screen around a large plastic barrel and charged $1 per use. "
• "A nearby competitor was reportedly charging $3 per visit for a crude toilet surrounded by a shower curtain."
• "Most elaborate was the operation of Brenden Augustine of Waukesha in a parking lot east of the stadium. He mounted a rented portable toilet on the back of a pickup truck and charged $5 a visit, or $10 for all-day access. Augustine said he and his buddies started the day charging $1 and $5, but raised the rates when long lines began to form."
These measures also ensure that Milwaukee's fly population will also be well-fed throughout the season.
Brewers Fans Are Entrepreneurial, F**king Disgusting [Walkoff Walk]
Brewers Crack Down On All-Day Parking Lot Parties [Journal-Sentinel]
Comments
just take a knee
My dad taught me to open the car door, stand between the hood and the open door and pretend like you're fixing a windshield wiper. Works every time.
No Depends? God, no one thinks outside the box anymore.
/shits pants
/considers it taken care of
"A nearby competitor was reportedly charging $3 per visit for a crude toilet surrounded by a shower curtain."
So they bring bathtubs to games.
I didn't know Lyddie England could pee standing up.
In Soviet Russia, passed out fat chick in stadium parking lot pisses on YOU!
Will the makers of the 12-man beer bong be able to come up with a 12-man toilet system?
Was that $10 for all-day access or all-day use? Because there is a difference.
Just don't break the seal.
the portable toilets were later delivered to the Miller factory and their contents were rebranded "MGD Light"
I think I cut my penis on the lid
Like a midget at a urinal, Brewers fans are staying on their toes.
/Drebin'd
When my soccer team went to a game at Old Trafford, we circled up to form a human wall around one member who had to piss. It was right in front of Matt Busby's statue, about a half hour before game time. I have no idea how no one noticed, but I'm thankful, because I probable would have lost my life.
@Lady Andrea:
Yes, and they called it the Earth.
Someone took a giant fucking steaming shit on the mound and named it fucking Eric Gagne.
Wisconsin has always been known as a progressive state.
How much for a season pass?
This is why you always make friends with the guys with a camper (generally used for hunting)at a tailgate.
How long before MLB and the Brewers sue the proprietors for taking the piss and shit of MLB/Brewers. What happens at the ballpark belongs to MLB.
Whatever you do, make sure you dont wizz on the electric fence.
Just stuff a towel up the leg of your shorts, and let the equipment manager take care of it.
/Bill Walker
"i cut my penis on the can!"
/Schrute'd
I love Milwaukee.
The only thing worse than Wisconsin: The Preakness. Empty 30-pack, Doritos bag, whatever works for those people.
@Nationalcoholic: like you never used a Doritos bag on Olive Court.
@ArkansasFred: I do the same thing, but on the other side of the door so it looks like I'm searching for something in the car. Known lovingly as "The Tripod".
@Lady Andrea: That's called "recycling" in Wisconsin.
Shea Stadium doesn't provide port o pottys, so tomorrow we wrap the big blue tarp around two trees, and a support for the overpass. Classy
@Lady Andrea: He once used a Doritos bag on Olive Oyl, but I digress.
@MitchKayak: easy Dwight
@Lady Andrea: I think they plan on hitting the auctions following the closures of Stadia Shea & Yankee to acquire enough urinals to create a suitable WC.
@crazyjoedavola: How is anybody gonna tailgate when there's like 12 parking spots left?
I use a 14 year old girl.
-R. Kelly
The most arrestible offense on Bourbon Street. You can punch a hooker in the mouth, no biggie. Piss in the streets of New Orleans? Up against the wall muthfucka!
@shea_guevara: Just have to know the right people. One of my clients is the Union for the NYPD. They park under the Northern Blvd overpass by the marina. We dont need no stinking permit. And since they are all cops, no one says a word.
Milorganite is an organic fertilizer made up of... Milwaukee sewage. It's likely on the greens of your local golf course right now.
I'm not making this up
Nachos and Jagermeister boilermakers = all-day pass. Nice work if you can get it.
I knew Wisc had no indoor plumbing
it's good to know that the entrepreneurial spirit is alive and well in Milwaukee.
@crazyjoedavola: Which Union? My Dad was the President of the CEA. For like a decade, I was pretty much untouchable in New York (a priviledge much, much abused).
Reminds me of the 700 Level bathrooms at the Vet. I remember rolling in there during the 3rd quarter and watching my fellow denizens of the Tri-State area, fed up by long lines for both urinals and sinks and instead using the wire mesh trashcans. Remember, its the city of brotherly love, not the city of IQ levels over 40.
Superior Officers Council NYPD. Lieutenants and above. They can park directly on the homeless if they feel like it.
@What Would Kornheiser Do?: +#2. Go, I'm laughing too loud
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies: *God
Ive gotten a pissing in public ticket at Shea on opening day 2 years in a row. Had i been able to pay $1-3 each visit, I'd definitely save some money. Although I would never be able to see the apparently shocked response from the NYPD each time. "What the fuck are you doing?" Pissing, and this surprises you how?
@Jackfruit: They are living the American Dream.
"What no one brought a towel?" -DeMarcus Beasley.
Anyone surprised by this story is bold-faced liar. Also, there is a comment made by someone in that story that alludes to people in depends.
Is that a hobbit in that picture?
@ArkansasFred: Until you're too drunk to notice that you've pissed all over the side of the car.
Are all porta-potties in Wisconsin as big as the one in that photo?
@Lance's Other Nut: Worst part is, if read within the context, it sounds as if the people claiming to be wearing depends find themselves all the smarter for it.
Can I recommend OopsICrappedMyPants?
Brewer's fans are a little too persnickety and prudent for my liking..
I believe proper phillies game toilet etiquette has already been discussed.
too bad they didn't make the playoffs last year. everyone coulda just peed their pants.