Deadspin
Via Sports By Brooks comes this seemingly tall tale about these terrifying little fellers , who are supposedly part of Brazil's all dwarf soccer team, the "Gigantes do Norte."Even though this squad is not even close to being gigante in physical size, they are so in spirit, apparently.
The team is made up of 11 dwarves (average height: 4ft.) who travel Brazil playing youth teams in an effort to raise awareness for dwarfdom through their stubby-legged soccer prowess.
And just like their full-sized contemporaries, these Brazilian soccer little people also take on nicknames. The Gigantes star player, Cazemiro Ribeiro, is known on the field as "Vagner Love," which just sounds completely distasteful when affixed to a dwarf.
The pictures throughout the story in the Daily Telegraph remind me of a nicotine patch-induced dream I had one time. Enjoy.
Brazillian dwarves who are giants of football [Telegraph UK]
Dwarf Soccer Team Becoming a Big Hit in Brazil [SBB]
Comments
I thought Vagner Love was the kind of thing Max Mosley was into.
I'm pretty certain that these guys defend better than Senderos.
I thought the Naked Mile was filmed in Canada, not Brazil?
/yeah, I saw that movie
It's just like in "Little People, Big World!"
But in Portuguese!
Did they all just get done riding horses?
Their bicycle kicks come with training wheels.
@BigTenObsession: They have Skrtel, so it's a push.
I didn't know Costas was Brazilian. But there he is, fifth dwarf from the right.
"Alright, Ribeiro, you'll be playing Keebler...I mean KEEPER, KEEPER! Sorry."
@BigTenObsession: Pretty much anyone does.
I don't even have dreams with dwarves in them. The only place I've seen dwarves in dreams is in stupid movies like this!
-Dinklage, as Tito
So, is a Brazillian more or less than a quadrillion?
@Gourmet Spud: Beautiful
yes, yes, yes, yes, yes...
.../stopping now before it gets out of hand
We wear short shorts...if you dare wear short shorts.....uhhh never mind.
Is that Wee Man on the far right?
@BigTenObsession:
see what I mean?
@Gourmet Spud: On direct free kicks, the opposing players cover their faces and at halftime they get Mandarin orange wedges.
Watching their games is remarkably like playing foosball.
Senderos gets victimized twice in the same game -- first Hyppia, now Torres.
I don't like the look of it.
It's a bit different from your standard game. For instance, headers occur while balls are still on the ground.
Finally, an opponent in the upcoming race war for the midget from In Bruges!
"Snow White is not walking through that door!"
They make sex look like a church
Dwarf soccer: where every seat is a nosebleed.
@McCroskey: +1 well done.
I haven't seen a team this good since Chelsea signed Sneezy, Bashful & Doc.
"Anybody who's as tall as this finger is off the team!"
Shit.
alright, time to pull out my dwarf strength/retard strength conversion chart. thanks, balls.
This think team would defeat non dwarf Team USA 3-1.
"I swear to God, if you guys make me me look ridiculous out there today..."
Which one of these guys is Little Ze?
@Schluby: dwarf, not think....duhhhh
Which one is Roloffinho?
@preciousroy:
see?
They are also quite skilled at giving Brazilian waxes.
Their nicknames, from L to R:
Ronandinhoinho, Ronaldinhoinhoinho, Ronaldinhoinhoinhoinho...
Sure, pretend you have to bend over to tie your shoes when the camera is pointed at you. I'll buy it.
@BigTenObsession: Unfortunately, yes.
Donald Barthelme could have made this part of the plot of "Snow White".
@Weed Against Speed:
True, but then afterwards they always steal your underpants.
Has someone informed Opie & Anthony to do a news flash?
/obscure
Who will be the first to photoshop "Blueberry" Violet from Willy Wonka in the net behind the goalie?
No comment until I hear from Kige on this development... at the next reunion.
@Gourmet Spud: my god, that was funny, +4ft
"I could stick you up my ass, small fry."
ADEBAYOOOOOOOOOOR!
ADEBAYOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
threadjack
Adebayor gets redemption.
/threadjack
Unfortunately for Argentina, even our midgets can beat their national squad.
NO!
@preciousroy:
@BigTenObsession:
@Signal to Noise:
YAHTZEE!
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
YOU ARE FUCKING KIDDING.
Horseshit
That wasn't half of what Hleb got last week,
THAT IS FUCKING HORSESHIT!
And Garrard just nailed an easy one.
There's also a full-sized Vagner Love. He plays for CSKA Moscow if I'm not mistaken.
that's a load of crap yellow right there
BULL-FUCKING-SHIT.
Such BS. Consistency for just ONE damned time PLEASE!?
@Andrew:
And he has a sex tape.
I really don't like seeing them being talked down to like that.
@Andrew: Yup. He also played for the Brazilian national squad during Copa America.
This seriously makes me ill. Kuyt got away with a pull-down in the box that was at least 2x worse. FUCK YOU DIRK CUNT!
So am I supposed to be happy that I'm the first one to say +1 to an Under The Rainbow reference?
Another difference from your standard game: the confusion during the pre-game when the players and kids walk out holding hands.