Deadspin
Last week, Daulerio gave you a few tips on how to make it through a potential DUI stop. Former Minnesota Vikings Hall of Famer Carl Eller has a new one, one we hadn't considered: Simply punching the police officer in the face.
Eller found this technique somewhat lacking in success.
Former Viking and NFL Hall-of-Famer Carl Eller was arrested early this morning for fourth-degree assault and fleeing a police officer, 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS has confirmed. Eller reportedly refused a breath test and assaulted officer before trying to flee, according to Minneapolis police.
Sgt. Jesse Garcia told 5 EYEWITNESS NEWS that Eller hit an officer in the face.
This is Eller's second DUI in two years, but his first cop punching. With this kind of expertise, he should probably become the next NFL players union chief.
Carl Eller Arrested After Punching Officer In The Face [KSTP]
Comments
Eazy-E approves.
Someone should take Ol' Eller out back and shoot him.
"Who's that supposed to be, Jerry Garcia's brother?"
"No, it's Andy Garcia's brother."
A lightbulb just went off over Tony LaRussa's head, and he screamed at no one in particular to "fucking dim that thing!".
He got sick of cops playing the cat game on him.
[www.dailyhaha.com]
How do YOU handle cops in DUI situations?
for anyone that has ever got pulled over under the influence - all you really want to do is knock that jackass out
This is Eller's second DUI in two years, but his first cop punching. With this kind of expertise, he should probably become the next NFL players union chief.
Or at least on the next stamp issued by West Virginia.
The report failed to mention that Eller has received an automatic invitation to Bengals training camp.
I never heard of fourth degree assult...here it is:
Assaulting a police officer may also result in an assault charge if that officer is effecting a lawful arrest or executing any other duty imposed by law. A fourth degree assault is a gross misdemeanor with possible penalties of one year in jail and a fine of not more than $3,000. If the assault inflicts demonstrable bodily harm, the person is guilty of a felony and may be sentenced to imprisonment for not more than three years or to payment of a fine of not more than $6,000, or both.
...and I also found out it's illegal to put squirrels down your pants for purposes of gambling.
Apparently the raccoon with a jeri-curl that usually resides on his head got detained by animal control.
I believe we have found our security detail for Fred Smoot's next party.
Carl Weathers was not impressed by that punch.
Only 4th degree assault for punching a cop in Minnesota? I was convicted of that for bumping into someone on the subway in NY.
I am glad DEADSPIN came across this story. DEADSPIN surely is ahead of the rest when it comes to breaking news stories.
I do this all the time. My wife is a cop.
Jim Marshall tried to escape by having the cop punch him.
That wasn't a punch, that was a helmet slap!
Huh. I never knew Martin Lawrence was bald.
I nominate Rick Astley as his public defender.
The cop is just lucky he didn't pull over Chuck Bednarik.
Since when did they outlaw the head slap?
@White Speed Receiver: That ain't nothin' but ultra-perm.
@Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter: Is she a mouthy cop?
Maybe Eller just got confused when the officer told him to "put this in your mouth and blow."
He should have spit in the cop's face, not punched it. Hey it worked for Naomi Campbell on that British Airways flight, right?
Too bad Eller didn't shoot a load in his face also, he could have given the cop a Jelly Donut. I thought cops liked Jelly Donuts.
JJ Walker looks like ass.
He should have gone with the "Don't you know who I am?" approach. Which worked so incredibly well for Kurt Busch
Fourth degree assault, not many people know, is punching someone back in time.
Eller pled guilty to misdemeanor DWI in March of 2006 after he was arrested for driving 97-miles-per-hour and repeatedly crossing over the center line on 394 in Golden Valley.
Thats a misdemeanor? NYPD would be pulling out the plungers.
Warren Moon tentatively approves, but will not give full approval until it's confirmed that Eller hit a female cop.
@Suss--: I always thought it was punching someone so hard their mama felt it.
Did he use Limbaugh's publicist for this mug shot? He seems quite pleased
@Suss--:
Serious stuff. He could get up to a past life in prison!
Unfortunately, the cop was "Hurricane" Peter McNeely, and was knocked unconscious before the punch even landed.
Ooooohhh yeah, that's a McNeely reference! And not Jerry O'Connell!
Who cares? Alan Page will just let him go.
Purple People Beater?
Say it Ain't So, #81!--Man I loved watching those Purple People Eaters when I was a wee lad in the snowbanks of Central Minny
That's what listening to Rollins era Black Flag does to people.
He didn't try to flee, he was doing a sack dance.
Alan Page is going to fry this f***er
It's okay, he's in tight with the judge, Alan Page. He'll get off with a stern warning.
I've been pulled over for suspected DUI twice. Never arrested. My secret: 100% complete and painful honesty.
@asliceofbacon: that's why you don't pull over
@Schluby: I've been pulled over for suspected DUI twice. Never arrested. My secret: 100% complete and painful lies.
@broad street bully: Did I mention that one of the police officers was my old midget football coach? Come to think of it, that probably helped a bit.
What's all this about Carl Weathers, now?
@Schluby: Your old football coach was a midget? How did he get onto the force?
Oh, Jesus...
[www.startribune.com]
"Maybe we could just settle this right now...here in Brainerd. You know officer, lets settle this right here and now ....here in Brainerd."
There is no way he will become the manager of the Minnesota Vikings Sailing Team now....
/"Martin said officers tased Eller, but it did not impact him."/
...it just made him mad....
Start a discussion:
Login with your username and password below. Or comment on this post via email.
Forgot your username or password? New User?