The hip-hop duo of "Sam & Max" was once a part of Ruffhouse/Columbia record label. Ruffhouse, as those of you in the 610/215 may know, was once headquartered in Conshohocken. (I actually interned there one summer and did many exciting things: I stood in a parking lot spot for 20 minutes to hold it for Spearhead, dropped off laundry for Dishwalla, bought 40 cans of Redi-Whip for Ugly Kid Joe and, most memorably, smoked a blunt with DJ Muggs from Cypress Hill and lost my mind. College ruled.)
Anyway, back to Max. His rhyme skills are you know, pretty much what you'd expect from a a guy who looks like he's got a very expensive beard trimmer and an expansive collection of gold chain-over-turtleneck wardrobe combinations. One of Max's memorable rhymes:
• "Hit your man with a hook, don't jab it/I'll beat you with my left hand, just like Jim Abbott"
That's a good one. Let's think of some better, more patently offensive rhyme boasts featuring athletes. Here are mine:
• "Get you in the backseat of my pimped out Plymouth Reliant/I'll blast it on your face, just like my boy Kobe Bryant"
• " I'll roundhouse right ya, knock off your stupid lid /Make your head blow up, the size of TJ Kidd's"
• " I'll crap on your face, a big, brown deuce-ski/ it'll make you have a massive stroke, just like Tedy Bruschi"