Deadspin
As many of you know, Pope Benedict the Magnificent XI was in New York on Sunday to celebrate mass at Yankee Stadium with 57,000 Bronx old ladies carrying plastic rosary beads. It went well, as all who attended were happy and blessed and there were no assasination attempts or extremely violent protests sparked by anti-Catholic fanatics or disgruntled altar boys.
The creative sword-rattlers at ANIMAL New York decided that the Pope's visit was a perfect opportunity to promote their magazine/website and decided to hire two odd looking ladies to distribute specially made "Popeylactic" condoms outside of Yankee Stadium to those hoping to catch a glimpse of the old guy in the funny looking hat.
If you're going to sin, you might as well be safe.
On The Street: The Pope-ylactics Edition [ANIMAL]
Comments
Premarital sex and birth control? DOUBLE SIN!
Although if I hadn't read the story I might've thought she stole some of the sacrament and was gonna put it on eBay.
They're Adam's ribbed for her pleasure.
"Look, sometimes a sport can just evolve in the wrong direction. It happened to tennis, it happened to pro wrestling and it definitely happened to hockey."
Hey Bill, YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT TENNIS. Do. Not. Write. About. It. Ever.
@TattooedMess(iah): Is that unleavened bread in your wallet?
Contrary to what we have been told, those giant sunglasses don't make all ugly girls slightly attractive.
"I write about sports for a living and couldn't tell you who won every Stanley Cup this decade."
In other words, I suck at my job.
Tagline: Perfect For Your Mass
Jesus wasn't the only one to rise again.
The kids are calling them "Benny Hats".
@How do you spell retard?: But they do make attractive girls less attractive.
silly activist. altar boys can't get pregnant
@Token_Tennis_Fan: You seem angry for reasons not entirely clear from reading this article.
@Steve Trachsel, Ace: My blood boils whenever he decides he needs to criticize a sport or whenever a professional sports writer mentions they don't know something they should.
Popeylactics: When having sex in a confessional, use the only condom endorsed by his holiness.
Or "Popeylactics: Priest tested, altar boy approved".
@Token_Tennis_Fan:
I wish the Pope would shut his mouth about hockey too.
All our altar boys are very gruntled.
-South Bronx Diocese (Dominican)
@ltwinslow: If Nibbles decides to post my slogan suggestions for Popeylactics, you've just earned yourself one hearty GODDAMNIT from me.
That picture two below the 'Fuck the Pope' shirt is confusing me. That guy's sign has so many run-ons that I don't know what the fuck he's trying to say.
@Token_Tennis_Fan: Who the flying hell are you talking about? Did the pope talk shit about hockey?
@Steve Trachsel, Ace: From today's Simmons article.
Forgive Farnsworth.
@ltwinslow: Do you not believe in miracles?
[www.google.com]
@Gourmet Spud: @Gourmet Spud: The Immaculate Contraceptive.
@Token_Tennis_Fan: And by "him", you mean Bill Simmons as you carry over from the previous thread.
@Gourmet Spud: See, the World Cup he's good with. I hear he's really sick of Kahn in the goal.
Is anyone else getting annoyed by the amount of product placement in Little People, Big World?
@Yostal: I did say Bill in my first post... sorry. Got my dander up, as the kids say.
@How do you spell retard?: No more than I am about the product placement in LADYVICTORYUSA.
[myespn.go.com]
@Yostal:
17 PC, INN, HA, ER, 9.000 ERA, 1.000 WHIP
he strikes again (no pun intended)
King. Fucking. James. That is all.
@Nationalcoholic: They spent an entire segment of the 7:00 PM episode pimping Whirlpool. Further prooving, that dwarves have no souls.
NOW they devote an entire segment to the Wii!!!
@Nationalcoholic:
who doesn't love Capri Sun?
@Nationalcoholic: That HAS to be a Deadspinner.
"DON'T FORGET TO RUN A SPELL CHECK.
ARE THERE ANY CAPRI SUNS LEFT?"
@ltwinslow: I was pulling into a Taco Bell drive thru as I heard that Zaun shot and though, "Oh no, the good Lt. is not going to be too happy about that."
And then I got a rock in my windshield on the way home and began to think my day was, in fact, craptacular. The two, however, are unrelated.
Oh and as a note to all of you, you should probably change your air filter on your furnace from time to time. Apparently, and I did not know this before today, it should not end up having so much dust on it, it looks like a lint filter after you do towels. Let's just say mistakes were made and have been corrected.
@Chief Wahoo:
if they're going to foul him when he goes up like that, they probably should just tackle him.
@Slothrop: Someone has got to figure out who's writing that. I know it's not real, I know it.
@Jefferson Short Bus: The most ridiculous thing is that she claims to have Restless Legs Syndrome (the whitest syndrome ever).
@Token_Tennis_Fan: If I can defend Simmons for a moment, he did also capture the essence of being an NHL fan:
This is slightly better than the abstinence campaign going on outside the stadium. Yank it!
@Yostal:
fur-nace?
@How do you spell retard?: Um, I'd slow down about being so cavalier when assigning "the most ridiculous thing" to something on that page. She's a nut.
@Nationalcoholic: In my opinion (besides religion) the most ridiculous thing of the 21st century is RLS.
@How do you spell retard?: I happen to think sunburn is the whitest syndrome ever.
@Yostal: For being the first game I've had the chance to see from start to finish, this one is starting out OK, eh?
@How do you spell retard?: Should have used commas instead of parentheses.
@Jefferson Short Bus: +1
...the old guy in the funny looking hat.
Euphemism?
@How do you spell retard?: I'm going to have to go with Chronic Fatigue Syndrom, myself. Get up, ya lazy bastards.
@ltwinslow: Oh, right...
@Al Czerviks Ride: I feel for you that you didn't get to see Game 6. I had just gotten back from East Lansing and turned it on in the third, just in time to see all hell break loose. But this is, indeed, a fine way to return.
One of my goals in life is to ask the pope how he casts Force Lightning(since he looks like Palpatine).
I know most people agree it is a man's world but that ugly chick can go to any bar in New York and find some drunk fool to bang her, while a comparable ugly dude will go years without getting any action.
@Nationalcoholic: Sadly, I still check that page often. I know its not real, but it brings me great joy.
@BaBaBoey: She looks better in the other picture on the website, and the fact that she's dissing the pope gives her somewhat of an edge for me. But I probably wouldn't do her.
So Bill Simmons bought a condom off the Pope and tried to hit on Lebron James but settled for the tennis player girl in the picture?
One question, does it make your junk smell like myrrh?
That chick looks like she's storing communion wafers for the winter in the pouches of her cheeks.
@Chief Wahoo: I always like it when old folks sue, claiming some product gave them "fibromyalgia." Look....you're old, we're all gonna be old, and sore muscles just kinda come with the territory.
Nibbles?
@LeagueofShadows: That question makes no frankincense
@Magnakai Haaskivi: She looks like Neifi Perez in a blonde wig.
thank you Bones, I didn't want to keep my dinner down tonight
@pr0FF3ss0r_j3rkwh3at: Is it new tonight? I thought Bones and House weren't new until next week...
also, the ESPN broadcast of the Cubs game managed to hit on EVERY stereotype of Chicago. Thanks guys, you're just as bad as Joe Morgan.
Did everyone just stop posting while I was out walking?