Deadspin
As we learned with this whole ugly Isiah Thomas thing, every NBA owner has his tipping point. Chicago Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf just may have reached his. It's the story you've heard so many times before: Colorful Bulls mascot Benny the Bull is being sued by an oral surgeon for an aggressive high-five that may have seriously injured the man's shoulder at a Bulls' game.
Benny is often in trouble; the controversy ranging from battery on a police officer while riding a scooter, to brawling with an inflatable likeness of himself on the Jerry Springer Show, to shooting Boston Celtics players with a T-shirt rifle. So far, Benny has managed to skate on every one. But will the charges stick this time?
Dr. Don Kalant Sr. alleged he was sitting near courtside on Feb. 12 when he raised his arm to get a high-five from Barry Anderson, who portrays the exuberant mascot in a bright red fuzzy costume. But Kalant, an oral surgeon, may now wish he had settled for a fist-bump instead. Instead of merely slapping Kalant's palm, Anderson grabbed his arm as he fell forward, hyperextending Kalant's arm and rupturing his biceps muscle, according to the lawsuit filed in Cook County Circuit Court.
My only hope is that Benny has a good attorney, and that he show up in court dressed in his full Benny costume. That would rule.
Oral Surgeon Says In Suit That He Was Injured In High-Five With Chicago Bulls Mascot [Chicago Tribune]
Benny the Bull, Free At Last [Deadspin]
Comments
I found the secret post! Is this where we talk about Dirk Kuyt?
You mess with the bull, you get the horns.
Who's inside that costume, Chris Henry?
Should've been you, Bruce Bowen.
threadjack
Nibbles is a douche.
/threadjack
I hate nancys.
It's Alliteration mania month here at Cook County Circuit Court!
Trumpy, no!
Is he molesting that kid?
You mean to tell me we've got a Chicago-based incident involving a doctor and a potentially one-armed man?
Mess with a bull, you get the horns, Doc!
This guy's story is pure bull.
The San Diego Chicken broke my arm!
Well, my arm broke when I punched him in the fucking beak, but still.
@econdave: Dammit.
That kid puts Santonio Holmes to shame.
You know how I know you need to start working out?
When your biceps explodes from a high-five given by a furry mascot.
I hope the judge smashes Don Kalant's dick with his gavel.
The crazy cat lady is in the suit, with her wizard cat. Beware !
when he raised his arm to get a high-five from Barry Anderson...
and that, boys and girls, is what we call "comparative fault". also known as "shitty lawyering"
Can't wait to hear all the gore-y details...
Benny is no Falcons mascot
+ Watch video
God, I love that video
I give Benny the Bull 30 days before he's featured in the main event at a WWF pay-per view.
Until someone sues alleging Benny fucked Marbury in the back of an SUV, I'm not interested.
@ltwinslow: I was going to go with assumption of the risk, but yes.
@Pittsburgh Sports and Mini Ponies:
Dear Gawker IT,
Quit messing up comments/videos/pictures.
Thank you.
PSaMP
Don C. Kalant, Sr. DDS's website lists the following as links of interest.
• Lodging in Our Area
• Dental Fee Plan
• American Association of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery
• Loyola University Medical Center
• Edward Hospital
• How to sue an NBA Mascot and make millions
Wait, what?
[www.kalantoms.com]
Suing for that? Hmm. Maybe I should have sought legal counsel when Mr. Met attempted to facefuck me back in the early 90's. Or was that David Cone?
No one does it like the bull.
If the costume does not fit, you must acquit.
Dr. Don C. Kalant, Sr. received his Bachelor of Science degree in biology from the University of Illinois
Figures.
Owww! Not so hard you meany!
@Secret Identity: Be careful - I think the deposition might try to steer you in the wrong direction...
Frivolous law suits make me a saaaaaaad Panda ...
/mascot humor
ladies and gentlemen of the supposed jury, this is benny the bull...
The Mariner Moose will break his own extremities for your pleasure. He's that committed to providing your children with 30 seconds of entertainment between whines about not getting any cotton candy yet.
@Suss--: You can do stupid things!
And there's only one explanation for this behavior [irononstation.com]
@ltwinslow: True, but Dr. Kalant got high as a kite minutes earlier. So, there's the whole issue of several joint liability.
/banned
/disbarred
That dentist was a nice kid, a pretty kid...Benny didn't know whether to fuck him or fight him.
Benny the Bull took one look at the duck pond in Bristol, and immediately killed all the ducks.
Maybe the Wizards should trade for Benny; he seems like he'd play better defense than Gilbert Arenas.
@David Hume: Res Ipsa Tendon-tear?
/Hangs head in shame
Benny should have gone with the "self" high five.
@Office Glenn:
Didn't Jackie Chiles win a case like this?
@Im a people person. Who drinks.: True. You wouldn't want to make a misteak.
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