"A Date With Your Family"

The Woody Allen Story!

Joe Buck should take a hint and start slamming straight vodka in the booth. He might be tolerable then.

Which is better, speaking no English at all, or speaking Howard Cosell?

Monday Night Football? Never heard of it.

For some reason I assume Weintraub is a huge Howard Cosell fan.

On Simmons' podcast with Rich Eisen, Eisen said the NFL Network (if no one gets it, does it actually exist) is prohibited from showing old MNF telecasts because Cosell's estate refuses to let them use his likeness. How is this possible? It isn't like using Fred Astaire's image to tell vacuum cleaners? Its rebroadcasting already recorded events. Stange.

From this day on, the official language of San Marcos will be Swedish. Silence! In addition to that, all citizens will be required to change their underwear every half-hour. Underwear will be worn on the outside so we can check. Furthermore, all children under 16 years old are now... 16 years old!

Howard Cosell: This is tremendous, Don, just tremendous. The atmosphere heavy, uncertain, overtones of ugliness. A reminder, in a way, of how it was in March of 1964 at Miami Beach when Clay met Liston for the first time and nobody was certain how it would turn out. The crowd is tense; they've been here since ten this morning. And... and I think I see... the door beginning to open. El Presidente may be coming out. The door opens. It's he... it's El Presidente waving at the crowd. A shot rings out! He turns... he runs back toward the building, trying to get in. This crowd is going wild. He's caught in a crossfire of bullets. And down! It's over! It's all over for El Presidente!

And believe it or not, a great host of Battle of the Network Stars.

Because I'm a huge Ali fan, I'm a huge Cosell fan

Some readers of this site weren't born until 7 years after Cosell left MNF.

@How do I say this ... THROWDINI!: What's even stranger is that I apparently can't spell the word strange.

These pretzels... are making me... thirsty.

/auditioning

Previous post: too many words.
This post: not enough words.

Will's second graf makes me think of another whiskey-soaked broadcasting legend who's a bit long in the tooth...Harry Kalas, don't ever change, you glorious drunk bastard.

@How do I say this ... THROWDINI!: they should crop Jon Voight's performance from Ali into those old broadcasts. Sittin' on a goldmine!

E:60 challenges the assertion that you were nine in 1985. Fess up, Leitch (or should I say, Laitch?!)!

Cosell always gets points from me for being the only boxing announcer to ever say "Johnson is the black fighter, Muldoon the white man."

I remember this:

+ Watch video

And, unfortunately, this:

+ Watch video

/yells at kids to get off my lawn

I'm so old I remember when Cosell received vitriol the likes of which Weintraub only dreams.

@How do I say this ... THROWDINI!: If that's the case, couldn't they just have another broadcaster dub over Cosell's play-by-play and edit out the footage which shows him in the booth?

Ummm, I thought he was great in "When We Were Kings".

-youngin

Or of course the asian guys in Better Off Dead who learned to speak english from watching Cosell.

@Slothrop:

Right there with you. Sigh...

@How do I say this ... THROWDINI!: Cosell was a lawyer with a huge ego and a propensity to fuck with the network whenever possible. I wouldn't be surprised if he retained some sort of rights over his likeness.

@Chief Wahoo: Oh yes, I loved listening to him growing up, especially on boxing.

At the risk of being, you know, sincere, I vividly remember watching (as a 13 year old) Cosell essential walk away from the sport of boxing after Larry Holmes pummeled Randall "Tex" Cobb. There's no doubt that he was a shameless self-promoter who sometimes tried to make himself bigger than the events he covered, but he had principles and he backed them up with action.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado:

that might prove tricky with the "little monkey" incident.

Howard was no racist, but that was just plain stupid.

@Chief Wahoo: I second both of your witty and insightful comments.

@GorgeForeman:

I ate dinner at 4:30, so I'll meet you at the shuffleboard court in ten minutes.

@Slothrop: He also- previous to the incident you mention- referred to Mike Adamlie (small white guy and future host of the original American Gladiators!) as a little monkey, so maybe he just didn't like small people of any race.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado:

Because it would be like editing out Honest Abe from the Lincoln-Douglas debates.

So wait, our society couldn't take Cosell but can take Weintraub? That's dicked up.

@Brazil Thrill - Hawks Aficionado: Women's Ninja Warrior on right now, just so you know...

@Slothrop: I hope you brought your Wizard Tip Calculator!

/threadjack

Rollins has broken ankle

/end threadjack

@thefuseproject: Or maybe he just liked monkeys.

@strong like bull smart like tractor: I didn't mean to be so negative- thanks for putting a more positive spin on it- you little monkey!

@HebrewHammer: Are he and his band still going to be able to tour??

You're being extremely truculent, Leitch.

Not knowing who Howard Cosell was akin to not knowing who George Washingt...WHAT? BROKEN ANKLE?

@notthequarterback: "truculent?!" Oh, I see what you're doing- nice!

+1

Thanks Pal...

I had my first child in 1985..now I feel old and this 2 year old running around my house was supposed to make me feel young again.

Bartender, you better make that a double!

@Rob Iracane: I'm looking for sourcing right now and I see NUSSING!

Those lips. Those saliva drenched wet lips. Hate to date myself Ds'ers, but I remember that John Lennon Interview. I was 9 years old. Cosell always made my dad grunt. ABC shoulda pulled him years earlier than they did as his hands trembled like a San Francisco freeway. He was sad in the end.

@thefuseproject:

Mine's a Willard. Wait, no 7? I'm ruined!

@thefuseproject: appreciate it. For what it's worth, my 60 year old Stepmother refers to kids as either monkeys or angels depending on behavior. Doesn't make her a racist.

@Rob Iracane: I guess to make it thread-related, I could try "Down goes Rollins! Down goes Rollins! Down goes Rollins!"

Remember, Cosell laid everything he had on the line to defend Muhammad Ali at a time when Ali was practically radioactive. Cosell risked it all not because he believed in Ali's stand, but because he believed in Ali's right to take that stand. That, my friends, is a man.

@Chief Wahoo: Yep. As much as he grated during Monday Night Football/Baseball, he was the best ringside. Yanked it up during the Munich tragedy too.

@GorgeForeman: Wait, a political debate is about the candidates, much like a sporting event is about the athletes. I don't think editing around Cosell should be too difficult.

@thefuseproject: Thanks for the heads up but I'm still at work, unfortunately.

I hated the dickhead, but the dickheads of today stand in his (dick-shaped) shadow.

We were nine years old, and we suspect some readers of this site weren't even born.

Sadly, this wasn't always the case.

1985?

Careless Whisper was on top of the charts, the Cosby Show ruled the airwaves, and Chief Wahoo was a spry young lad of just 28 at the time...

ahhh, memories!

It's a simple radio show, it's not a two hour television spectacular, now who goofed? I've got to know...who goofed?

@Chief Wahoo: Dead on. It's hard to imagine every boxing organization in the world enforcing a ban against someone for failing to report for induction into the U.S. Army, but it was a very different world then.

In Howard's world, we are all monkeys looking for our bananas in life.

@amorphous: This comment gave me a proper giggle.

I always think of how much better PTI would be if Cosell was around today...

Cosell on ATH: "MariOTTI: You insolent, poor, poor man. A pox upon the snakehole you call your house. And, may the sinister odor of your mother's just-used lavatory permeate around you and repel all those who would beseech you for your opinion."

I recall an appearance on The Sports Reporters near the end of his life where he was actually more bitter than normal, trembling like a chihuahua. Schaap and the others were slack jawed. Good stuff.

Cosell inspired me to heights of vocabulary my family never imagined. I remember watching a game where he called a safety "ubiquitous". I stared at my father, he stared back and went for the dictionary.

Truly, Cosell would never make it in today's short attention span, snide, hip, first-post driven world of snarky internet and blog commentary.

We are not worthy!