Deadspin
So, now that Pacman Jones has joined the Dallas Cowboys, we ask: How will he deal with the changing rules for Dallas-area strip clubs?
We kid Pacman, because we love Pacman. As talented as the former Titan is, you almost have to root for him to get his life in order — remember, it was once so bad that even his family was calling him "out of control" — except ... dammit, now he plays for the Cowboys! If he straightens up and flies right, it's the Cowboys who reap the benefits. Ain't that how it always works?
Now that he's back, though, we can at least rejoice in the obvious-but-still-fun video game jokes.
Comments
Dallas is the stripper capital of the world, so this will end badly.
My guess...with a hail of poorly aimed bullets.
12 year olds dancing in Big D? Jesus.
Why is Bob Crane interviewing Martin Lawrence?
The amended ordinance also prohibits private and enclosed VIP rooms.
What's the point, then? You could just hang out in Miami with TO and see boobies and ass.
Chris Russo loves this.
A 12-year old girl!?!? (From the link) How do they not have the power to close a place after that? It's Texas! Maybe they can execute the owners, but the place has to be allowed to remain open?
Does the deal mention what will happen to his personalized Corvette?
Because if he puts it back up for sale...
The only good that can come out of this is a supporting role for Pacman on TO's new TV show.
He should be the wacky childhood-friend of TO from the playground days in West Philly who is getting used to the rich life-styles of Dallas, while also chasing TO's single female cousin.
Even pacman knows Tenay is a hack.
Romo better be careful or Jessica may be the new Mrs Pacman
Too bad they already sold the name to the new stadium. I'm guessing that Pacman would have brought more bidders.
get yer Pacporn ready
So it's cold enough to wear that hat, but warm enough for no sleeves? I guess I just won't ever get it.
Hey...he's got hoes in different area codes.
Given that it was TNA, this interview also involved a triple heel turn, 12 run-ins, Shark Boy and Curry Man randomly dancing, and preceded a reverse battle royal Coal Miner's Glove on a Pole electrified cage match given away on free TV.
Look, if that 12-year old didn't want to be forced into the sex industry, she shouldn't have been hanging around that Miley Cyrus concert.
Does Pacman know where Nate Newton keeps his stash?
Ferry grilled her. she broke down and admitted she's only 10.
Tenay's BAC was probably high enough to win a batting title.
/threadjack
Here's all you need to know about ESPN chats:
Chris (Aggieland): Are there any good tightends in the 2008 draft .
Chad Ford : (1:53 PM ET ) Wrong chat
Actually, that's all you need to know about Aggies as well.
/unthreadjack
Donkey Kong just signed with the Ravens.
@SlickBomb:
Atlanta would like a word with you
@goathair: The Niners just signed Q-Bert. The Browns passed, saying they had their gay quota.
I don't have to root for him, he plays for the fucking Cowboys.
wocka wocka wocka wocka wocka
BEW BEW BEW
Al Davis just signed Yars and that fucker is out for Revenge.
Old felons never die; their rap sheet ends at Jerry Jones' pen.
The Rams are on the clock, and it is looking good for Q-Bert getting signed.
Resurrect the White House!
@gunga galunga gunga - gunga galunga: I root for him to meet the 21th century version of LT...and then follow Joey T's career path...minus the MNF stopover.
@sassydeerrun: Yeah, but only because Al Davis is living in Walt Disney's freezer.
Dan Snyder just signed Blinky, Inky, Pinky and Clyde to seven-year guaranteed deals worth $90 mil each.
Check out the solitary comment under that news story about the 12 year old...
You're right sir, it is redicilous (sic)
With the 15th pick in the 2008 NFL Draft, the Detroit Lions select, Ninja Gaiden, WR, Japan.
This is going to end poorly when Pacman catches Wade stealing from his stash of delicious power pills.
He won't have to look far for a big pair of breasts with Wade Phillips around.
Blinky just moved out of town
/badjoke
@ClueHeywood: Damn, and just after Pac Man ate the big pill.
However it ends, it most likely will end in Dealey Plaza.
Too soon?
@Von Hayes: 2 comments now.
Chun Li just joined the Chargers' cheerleading squad.
"The new ordinance comes after a 12-year-old girl was discovered performing at an all-nude strip club."
Mr. Jones? Chris Henry's agent is on line 3.
@SlickBomb: @ltwinslow: Montréal just wonders who's fighting for second.
The hate of the Cowboys must be refreshed from time to time with the infusion of new assholes.
Daytona's the "bullet wound and c-section scar" stripper capital of the world, which has to count for something, right guys?
@UkraineNotWeak: Yes, too soon.
I thought Liberty City would sign Pac Man.
Sounds like the perfect opportunity for a BangBros Dallas volume.
@MeanMachine: Brilliant, but to be honest, I was expecting something more offensive.
I love the graphic (especially the legs, red high heels and handcuffs)
• 12-year old girl
• Document Identity and Age
• Enclosed VIP rooms
• Shut Down
I'll take "ways to describe Pac Man's career" for 200 Alex.
Here's what will happen some time during the season: both Troy Aikman and Daryl Johnston will slam the trade, saying Jones is too much of a distraction and troublemaker...without one hint of irony or self-awareness.
@Signal to Noise: So, so true.
@dont-forget-where-you-came-from-cheese mac: Michael Cole loves you for saying that.
I love how they announce the changing rules, and then say they are going in effect on Monday - letting everyone know they have one last weekend to enjoy underage stripping in Dallas.
@Signal to Noise: I think Aikman does a lot of things without much self-awareness these days.
@André Roussimoff: Wish me luck on Priceline
@And_You_Shall_Know_Me_By_The_Trail_of_Cheez-Its: I think it has to do with the polygamy.
@ And_You_Shall_Know_Me @1:48
The only thing more important to us than executing innocent people, the mentally handicapped and born-again Christians is property rights.
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