As If The Mavericks Don't Have Enough Problems

From the Dallas hub of the Department of Lunatics comes this head-scratching lawsuit courtesy of the one and only Jonathan Lee Riches, a man serving time in a federal penitentiary in South Carolnia for wire fraud, but who chooses to pass his time by exercising his right to file ridiculous lawsuits against as many celebrities as possible. So far, Riches has unsuccessfully sued Bill Belichick, Michael Vick, George W. Bush, Martha Stewart, Perez Hilton and many others. Most of his suits have been dismissed by trial judges for being "frivolous" and "farcical."

His latest suit is against Dallas Mavericks owner (and president of the Will Leitch fanclub) Mark Cuban and 2007 MVP Dirk Nowitzki. for about $30 million.

Here's what has his hamster wheel smoking this time.

"Dunking over my LIfe/Mark Cuban missle crisis on my
civil rights"

Mark Cuban is getting Nowitzki and german soldiers for the Mark Cuban missle crisis on federal inmates, me in
general. I'm in solitary confinement in Ft. Williamsburg. I have no access to proper recreation.
Defendant's bounce basketballs outside my cell all night to tease me. Nowitzki is sending me to Nuremburg trials, because I know the Mavericks bet on basketball games. Also, Mr. Cuban has secret ties with
Broadcast.com execs and Al-Jezzera TV. They plan to shoot be in Dallas because my initials are J.R. If
you spell Dallas backwards it says SaLaD. I'm not being fed right in solitary. I'm being burnt with
Cuban cigars. Dirk is a big jerk! I seek a restraining order from defendants to stop Mavericks basketball for the 2008 season.

Respectfully submitted: Jonathan Lee Riches

The SaLaD Mavericks play the ~~ETtolraHc~~ (Ha. I'm a fuck). SnAelRo WEn Hornets in game 3 of their playoff series Friday.

Jonathan Riches suit [Dallas Observer]

6:00 PM on Thu Apr 24 2008
By DAULERIO
5,857 views
26 comments

Comments

Suss-- at 06:10 PM on 04/24/08
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" If you spell Dallas backwards it says SaLaD"

Well, shit, if he's right about THAT, then -- !
How do you spell retard? at 06:12 PM on 04/24/08
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Are any those people really celebrities? Maybe Martha.
Al Czerviks Ride at 06:13 PM on 04/24/08
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Wait- dude's getting Cubans in solitary?
And_You_Shall_Know_Me_... at 06:13 PM on 04/24/08
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I swear, without this man's existence, law school professors would have no idea how to show how "fun and laid-back" they are.
Sherrill-Theory at 06:15 PM on 04/24/08
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@Al Czerviks Ride: We're talking about people, right?

And as long as it's "Respectfully submitted", I say go nuts buddy.
Office Glenn at 06:16 PM on 04/24/08
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Frivolous lawsuits, that awful collared-shirt/jersey combination on Cuban ... yes, these are dark times in Dallas.
hockalees at 06:16 PM on 04/24/08
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I seek a restraining order from defendants to stop Mavericks basketball for the 2008 season.

Based on the Mavs' current playoff "effort", most of Dallas agrees right now.
Rob Iracane at 06:16 PM on 04/24/08
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If you spell Mark Cuban backwards he turns back into a newt.
being_sven at 06:17 PM on 04/24/08
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"Nowitzki is sending me to Nuremburg trials, because I know the Mavericks bet on basketball games..."

Time-travel? How Vonnegut of him...
Al Czerviks Ride at 06:17 PM on 04/24/08
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@Office Glenn: But Pac Man is coming, so it's kinda a wash...
BigTenObsession at 06:17 PM on 04/24/08
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Here's what has his hamster wheel smoking this time.

Man, Nibbles is really branching out with his fuck-ups.

/sorry, Rob.
Proverbial at 06:21 PM on 04/24/08
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SaLad huh, I guess that explains why Cuban has been tossed so much.
hockalees at 06:21 PM on 04/24/08
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Oddly enough, "Dunking Over My Life" is also the title of Sean Bradley's new biography.
PeteJayhawk at 06:21 PM on 04/24/08
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Has anyone ever gone to interview this guy? Is he nuts or just fucking with everyone?
The Fan’s Attic at 06:22 PM on 04/24/08
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@Rob Iracane: Na Buck Ram
LeagueofShadows at 06:23 PM on 04/24/08
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His lawsuit reads like a Dee Mirich poem.
Fiver at 06:25 PM on 04/24/08
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I always thought that solitary confinement was all you really needed for "proper recreation".
Al Czerviks Ride at 06:26 PM on 04/24/08
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I've been waiting for three years for confirmation, but now I can take my article on how Dirk is a big jerk to print- celebration time, yo!
Brazil Thrill at 06:29 PM on 04/24/08
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And what do you get if you spell Jason Kidd backwards? Ddik Nosaj. In Hungarian, the word ddik means "bad" and nosaj means "trade".
Matt_T at 06:30 PM on 04/24/08
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+ Watch video
peytonloveskenny at 06:31 PM on 04/24/08
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@LeagueofShadows: Only it makes more sense.
The Fan’s Attic at 06:33 PM on 04/24/08
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@Rob Iracane: is he a newt yet?
Al Czerviks Ride at 06:34 PM on 04/24/08
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@The Fan's Attic: It got better
RachelRayIsTheDevil at 06:39 PM on 04/24/08
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This guy interned with Weintraub.
LesMilesIsAMouthyDouche at 07:40 PM on 04/24/08
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They moved to weN snaelrO like 5 years ago, people!
Laser Guided at 07:51 PM on 04/24/08
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@PeteJayhawk: I don't think he's crazy, just occupying himself. Read up on him, some of his filings are actually pretty funny (they at least show he isn't, like, bat-shit crazy)