From the Dallas hub of the Department of Lunatics comes this head-scratching lawsuit courtesy of the one and only Jonathan Lee Riches, a man serving time in a federal penitentiary in South Carolnia for wire fraud, but who chooses to pass his time by exercising his right to file ridiculous lawsuits against as many celebrities as possible. So far, Riches has unsuccessfully sued Bill Belichick, Michael Vick, George W. Bush, Martha Stewart, Perez Hilton and many others. Most of his suits have been dismissed by trial judges for being "frivolous" and "farcical."
His latest suit is against Dallas Mavericks owner (and president of the Will Leitch fanclub) Mark Cuban and 2007 MVP Dirk Nowitzki. for about $30 million.
Here's what has his hamster wheel smoking this time.
"Dunking over my LIfe/Mark Cuban missle crisis on my
Mark Cuban is getting Nowitzki and german soldiers for the Mark Cuban missle crisis on federal inmates, me in
general. I'm in solitary confinement in Ft. Williamsburg. I have no access to proper recreation.
Defendant's bounce basketballs outside my cell all night to tease me. Nowitzki is sending me to Nuremburg trials, because I know the Mavericks bet on basketball games. Also, Mr. Cuban has secret ties with
Broadcast.com execs and Al-Jezzera TV. They plan to shoot be in Dallas because my initials are J.R. If
you spell Dallas backwards it says SaLaD. I'm not being fed right in solitary. I'm being burnt with
Cuban cigars. Dirk is a big jerk! I seek a restraining order from defendants to stop Mavericks basketball for the 2008 season.
Respectfully submitted: Jonathan Lee Riches
The SaLaD Mavericks play the
ETtolraHc (Ha. I'm a fuck). SnAelRo WEn Hornets in game 3 of their playoff series Friday.
Jonathan Riches suit [Dallas Observer]