Deadspin

Other places are saying it is his spleen...

[www.newsday.com]

(Checks to make sure Avery is still alive...)
I'm pretty sure it's just a bad case of nonfactoritis.

"Contrary to reports by other media outlets, there is no indication Avery suffered any type of heart prolem and he never lost consciousness. He was taken to the hospital in a towncar, not an ambulance, as had been previously reported."

@TheStarterWife: The ESPN article linked to says its his spleen...

Also: This illustrates nicely why newspapers as newspapers are pretty much worthless to me. Some legitimate news site has all the facts I need and any number of blogs I respect can offer opinion on it long before I see what Damien Cox can write about it in the Star tomorrow. I'm also generally less interested in Cox than many other people.

@Scoops: That's funny, because I'm interested in singing the praises of Cox to everyone I come across.

...ladies.

Shoulda been you Sean Avery.

Karma's a bitch.

The Toronto Sun has an interview with his Mom saying he got a lacerated spleen in the first period.

[meltyourfaceoff.net]

He was venting his spleen a la Bissinger.

This is why you do not wave your stick in the goalie's face.

The NHL has instantly made a rule that makes rupturing one's spleen a minor penalty.

Internet Injury Telephone Game!

I heard it was an allergic reaction to coffee.

Gary Roberts cracked open his spleen to feast on the sweet sweet stem cells within.

He's a hockey player. He'll just grow a new spleen in the off-season.

@She Blinded Me With Violence: In other news, Talbot might have a broken foot.

I bet he's going to annoy his nurses too.

@Scoops: I'm pretty sure Sean Avery loves Cox

Sheeeeeeit. I guess this means the Flower won't be shaking his hand, either. Was kind of looking forward to that one.

In other news, Sidney Crosby was rushed to the hospital after he lost consciousness but was released immediately after doctors discovered that he was faking it.

The really strange part is he was at the apartment of one of the Olsen twins.

Too soon?

should have been you Steve Avery

I heard he swallowed his vomit taking a test.

Fox News is reporting that Jack Bauer has 24 hours to find Avery a new spleen or else the terrorists will win.

I heard he got hit over the head with lead pipe in the Conservatory.

@MyronCopacetic: Stitch that shit up doc, let's get back to the rink.

Thats a hockey player. Avery however is a giant douchebag.

@crazyjoedavola:

Or just have it cut off, Ronnie Lott-style.

TMZ reporting Avery's heart attack caused by massive plot twist in the last episode of The Hills.

The referees saw him clenching his chest, but they didn't call for an ambulance until he hit the floor.

@Afino: Who are we going to skate Thursday?

@Doyle McPoyle: NO SPOILERS!

Nikolai Borschevsky's spleenectomy > Sean Avery's spleenectomy

Ever seen a spleen that large?

No, not since breakfast.

I read on a blog that he ruptured it fucking a horse.

@FirstDerivative: Does it really matter? Don't think the Pens have a Yankees like choke in them.

/saying that all day to yankee/ranger fans in my office. Yes, I am a dick. But they are bigger dicks.

/threadjack
AA has ten minutes of the Costas "discussion" up now.

Now seeing it for the first time, Will actually did a lot better than I thought - from the comments last night, I had figured he'd just have sat there sobbing quietly leting the angry balding man verbally rape him.

@UkraineNotWeak: Ever seen that video online of guy being fucked by a horse? (Long dead Gawker Media site Sploid linked to it...)

Spleen is the least of one's problems.

(Yes, already read the KSK piece.)

@FirstDerivative: Prucha, hopefully.

@Send It In, Jerome!: I bet Doug Llewelyn, Court Reporter, has a picture of that breakfast.

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!:

yeah, it's better for Will and perhaps not quite as bad for Buzz. Nah, he's looks and acts like John Feinstein on a 4 day PCP bender.

So..he played the last two periods with a lacerated farking spleen?

Dayum, it's like hoc-key players are some kind of super humans.

@EditorOfTheDailyFaberian:

No, he finished the movie.

Since I don't watch the Outdoor Life Network, I didn't realize this was about anyone other than former Spur Sean Avery until reading the comments. Special Olympics.

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: the fuck's AA?

@TheStarterWife:

I've never seen it and have no intention of ever seeing it. The same with 2girls1cup. There are some things in life I don't need to be privy to.

Looks like Brodeur's voodoo doll finally started working.

@Mr. Marinovich: Some place my god-damned family's always tryin' to drag me to.

He was hospitalized for exsessive bon-vivantism and heightened man-about-townishness.

But seriously, I hope he's okay.

@Mr. Marinovich: Awful Announcing:

[awfulannouncing.blogspot.com]

@TheStarterWife: What part of the phrase "mental image" do you not comprehend?

weak.

Gary Roberts played an entire season with a lacerated spleen. Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes. Gary Roberts has 72… and they're all poisonous.

@Get Him A Body Bag, Yeah!: Yeah, I actually think he did quite well, and the douche comes off as even more of a boorish lout.
It's interesting though how the comments he quoted, while hilarious hear, sound kind of stupid read aloud. But of course, there was no context.

@KevinNoMaas: He thought he had stigmata.

@TheStarterWife: I came before the horse.

If this is some desperate attempt to get Cuthbert back, colour me impressed.

Also, Peter Forsberg is not impressed.

So exactly what level of epic fail does a newspaper reach when it reports that a guy with a bum spleen who walked into a hospital actually had stopped breathing and entered cardiac arrest ... and then said paper scrubs its original story of any reference to the heart attack?

[sports.yahoo.com]

@Wyshynski: Damn newspapers... no fact checking, just running off and going with stories, throwing in sex to spice it up. Why can't they be more civil, like here in the utopia that is the internet?

Dusty Baker has been trying to get through to Sean Avery's hospital room all day to offer him a contract so he can get more players that bleed internally.

I just want to know which one of you has the mental powers to lacerate a spleen with your mind so I can be nicer to you.

@GreatOdensRaven: Yeah, but with what center? Drury couldn't even hold a stick in the third.
Bad times for the NY Rangers...now I can bitch about how listless the Mets look, while expressing entirely too much optimism about the Jets season. (I can see them going 11-5 if they get some breaks)

@FirstDerivative: You want a center, too? Sheesh...

I'm not sure what options there are other than Renney radically shuffling the lines and giving the nod to someone else who hasn't been a center in forever (Straka?), or calling Hartford for help. Not good.

Probably better to just talk Mets baseball.

@GreatOdensRaven: Let's Discuss Aaron Heilman...

/sobbing about sports at desk