So, somewhat recently cut Minnesota Vikings defensive lineman Darrion Scott is a charming fellow, full of love, hope and child-rearing tactics that you might not find in the Oprah magazine. Let's take a look into Scott's fortitude-building attempt at putting a plastic bag over his son's head.

He was just trying to help, you see.

According to the criminal complaint filed in Hennepin County District Court: The boy's mother heard the child's muffled cries and found Scott, who is 6-3 and 290 pounds, holding the bag over the boy's head on April 26. She said the boy was on his back on the floor, his legs kicking and that Scott was holding the bag tightly around the boy's neck.

She told police she had evidence of previous injuries while the child was in Scott's care. A doctor who examined the boy said there is a reasonable degree of medical certainty that marks on the boy's arm and ear were intentionally inflicted and were consistent with either burning or being struck.

Scott's defense: He was trying to help the kid by teaching him how to get the bag off his head. This reminds us of that time that our father tried to help us learn how to swim by trying our arms and legs together, tossing us in a laundry bag and chucking us into a lake. Made us stronger. ***

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This Is Just Plain Messed Up [The Sports Point]

*** Not, in fact, true; just using our father as a comedic counterpoint. Sorry, Dad! It was just a pond.)