Deadspin

He clearly needs a subscription to "The Player's Club".

I'm very concerned about Vick's FICO score.

That Vancouver bud is expensive.

@MeSoHornsby: I'd be more concerned about his AKC score

And with the exchange rate...oh boy..the dollar is not looking good

/eats McDonald's hamburger.

Did Vick open up a Korean restaurant?

Could be worse. At least it isn't 2.4 million Euros.

Vick has counter-sued, saying he found a mouse in a bottle of Elsinore beer and would like a free case of brew as restitution. Eh?

The bank should cut him some slack. The cost of running the restaurant became unmanageable once PETA cut off his main supply of meat.

Probably shouldn't have spurned the Pound Puppies. Cooler has a lot of connections in the joint.

Squawkbox: "Take yo' oda?"
The Diesel: "2 chalupas, 1 steak soft taco, an order of nachos and 2 ice waters, please."

SB: "Hole up. You wan 1 chalupa, 2 steak soff tacos, an a wata?"

TD: (Recognizes voice) "Wait a minute. Mike? Mike Vick? That you, Ron?"

SB: "Sheet. What? How you know it be...I mean, no. Dis ain't no Vick, kid."

(Drives around to the window to see Mike Vick in a Taco Bell hat.)

The Diesel: "Sweet. Nevermind the food, b*tch. Suck my d*ck and burn in H*ll. GO Panthers!"

(Drives off laughing madly for all dog lovers everywhere.)

/KSK'd.

Michael Vick is not your fwiend, guy!

$2.5 Million. What does that equal to in cigarettes?

On the plus side: Vick can pay it back in Timbits and Moosehead Lager.

@UkraineNotWeak: I dont' know about prison, but it'll net you about 2 cartons in Chicago.

@Matt_T: He's not your guy, buddy.

@Matt_T:

You better pay us our money, or we'll go on strike!

@Christmas Ape: I had a stuffed Cooler when I was little.

Prison might not be so bad for him. Maybe The Herp keeps the Bubbas away.

While Michael was busy running the restaurant into the ground, Marcus was beating up some teenagers in its parking lot.

The Canadian banks have the most politely worded collection letters.

/threadjack

I got me an interview with an NFL team

/shits pants

This is a financial headache that not even a case of deux deux deux will cure.

@cowbell204: If it's with the Lions, they don't count.

@cowbell204: If it is with the Cowboys please cock punch Jerry Jones for me.

-Cowboys fan

@cowbell204: @PenskeMaterial:
Seriously, though, good luck.

@MeSoHornsby: "I'm thinking of a number..."

Playing football in the hot sun
Vick fought some dogs and the law won
Canadians wanted money but Vick had none
Vick fought some dogs and the law won

@Magnakai Haaskivi: Well done sir

You want me to say it again?! You got me over a barrel! There, you happy? You got me bent over a barrel with my tender ass just waiting to be pulverized by your thrusting man-hood

@Gourmet Spud:

So Marcus isn't going to make a "What What in the Butt" Youtube video?

@cowbell204:

Doing what?

I know a woman who worked for a while for an NFL assisting the coaching staff in putting together the playbook. She faced a fair share of sexual harrassment during her short stint including one assistant offering her $1000 for a blow job.

First Bear Stearns falls, now Ookie. WHEN WILL IT STOP?!?

@McCroskey:

You're so cute, I'd kiss you if I didn't have puke breath.

@How do you spell retard?:


He is your Buddy Guy.

@UkraineNotWeak: 2400 of those and Vick could pay off this debt.

/math genius

@UkraineNotWeak: Good thing she wasn't employed by the Cavs, Lebron would have only offered her $10.

@UkraineNotWeak:

wow. assistants make a lot of money, apparently. but $1000 is pretty steep

A few years ago all it would have taken to pay Canadians a couple of million dollars (in loonies) was to sell a couple of cartons in the prison yard.

@Deadspin:

Close enough. It was the Browns.

@UkraineNotWeak: Bunny Lebowski's qualified, then?

@Magnakai Haaskivi:

Word on the street is that Ron Mex took Bobby Fuller down.

@UkraineNotWeak:

starting quarterback / media relations intern

@cowbell204: I'll be looking for you when I buy my nachos at FedEx Field.

What does a Canadian loanshark do if you stiff him? Make vaguely unpleasant comments about you to your friends?

@Deadspin: No, no - he would have wanted her to play with his nuts only.

Because he wouldn't have wanted to give her the tip...

@The Diesel: +1 Surely you went on location to come up with the masterpiece.

@cowbell204: I think that's Kyle Boller's official job description as well.

@formerly Chief Wahoo:

For one thing, you can sure as shit forget about borrowing his snow shovel.

They'll settle for a Benigan's gift card and some gum balls.

@formerly Chief Wahoo, @Gourmet Spud: And the icefishing trip is DEFINITELY off.

@cowbell204: Cool stuff, best of luck. A friend of mine is an events coordinator for an east coast team (runs the halftime show, meet n' greets...) and has a great time - gets to watch the game from the sideline, gets all sorts of official team branded goodies. Only problem is - the team knows that it's a coveted gig, and pays accordingly.

Mess with Canadians!!!! He better invest in the Ivan Gouzenko fashion line.

I desperately need Ron to give tips to Benson. out of chicago, asap.

@DumpsterDining: mmmm...timbits.....

@formerly Chief Wahoo: He cuts off your poutine supply.

Time to pass the collection dog bowl.

What's this all aboot, eh?

@formerly Chief Wahoo:Actually, they make you work at a Tim Horton's until the debt is paid off. Which by my calculations, Ron will be selling donuts and coffee until 2165.