There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up.
And that Cup will go to either the Detroit Red Wings or the Pittsburgh Penguins, who start Game 1 of the Cup Finals tonight. The Deadspin NHL Closer foremen at Melt Your Face-Off will be live blogging the games this weekend, and I guess Versus hooked them up with some free shit to give away. Access, favor, and discretion my white butt.
Meanwhile, the Pittsburgh media is carving out Photoshops for the occasion, with Detroit MS Painters retaliating in kind, as you can see above with my favorite.
As I've said in the past, I never really latched onto an NHL team because growing up the Detroit Reddish Wings were 17 different flavors of awesome, and I couldn't jump onto the Wings bandwagon, which was the only successful model vehicle coming out of Detroit at the time. And I'm not about to go rooting for the Columbus Blue Jackets, because Toledo will be getting a minor league team of their own soon, even though they won't be known as the Peckerheads. But I'm sure if I wasn't a pseudo-Michigander I'd basically despise the Icy Red Machine, and my two-time BGSU title-winning intramural curling team was named the Flying Penguins, so here's to a Pittsburgh champeenship.