One man who's managed to keep his sunny disposition during the Mets season from hell is smooth-talking third base coach Razor Shines. Now you can ask him yes/no questions in this virtual ad and he'll answer them. All of them.
So because I'm a sucker for these sorts of interactive hocus-pocus ads (this one is for Aquafina where Razor is supposed to be your "3rd Base Coach Of Life), I spent a good 45 minutes today typing random questions into this little box to make Razor Shines talk to me. Unlike that BK subservient chicken site from a couple years ago, Razor won't wag a finger if you ask him an inappropriate question. Nope, Razor will take the time to give you a carefully crafted response to everything from "Do you like my pants?" to "Will you finger my hiney?" as demonstrated in the video above. August!
UPDATE: Apparently, you can take it too far. Reader Jeff H. informs us that he was "ejected" by an umpire after asking Razor if his "wife tosses his salad." I typed in "Can I fuck your face?" and was told by Shines to "wash my mouth out with Aquafina." Then I asked "Is your wife a salad-tossing whore?" immediately after and I was ejected as well and sent to the showers. This is new media journalism at its finest.