Kansas City Star/Fox Sports columnist Jason Whitlock must have inhaled a larger portion of hater-tots than his usual allotment before he sat down to write this column about NBC's revamped "Football Night In America" lineup. Whitlock, like many other media members, is skeptical of adding Patrick into an already over-crowded mix.
"NBC executives must have missed the memo: The Big Show era is dead. ESPN killed it. Every Tom, Dick and Stu Scott wannabe beat the other side of the pillow, cold and Pooh season and en fuego to death," he writes.
From there, Whitlock does a person-by-person takedown on every member of the show. The carnage:
• Olbermann: "[A]brilliant broadcaster, is a left-wing political pundit. You don't think football when you see Olbermann. You think Bill O'Reilly. Olbermann's work on Football Night comes off like he spends an hour each week thinking about the NFL. His disjointed and confusing commentary last season about Michael Vick exposed how out of place he is talking football on a big stage."
• Tiki Barber: "[Q]uit football in his prime because the entire concept of the game utterly bored him, and that's just how he comes across during the brief, off-the-main-set segments he is allowed to speak."
• Jerome Bettis: "As a broadcaster, he's not ready for the main stage. He's not Emmitt Smiff, but Jerome hasn't mastered the art of speaking in provocative, insightful sound bites.
• Dan Patrick: "He's a clever radio host, but he's not a football guy. Patrick will be one more person on the show who has little real interest in the game."
Only Costas, Chris Collinsworth ("the true star"), and Peter King (kind of) get spared.
In other Whitlock news, hip-hop artist Tech N9ne is apparently no longer a member of the Black KKK. Whitlock, who made national news about his dislike of gangsta rap (demeaning to women, promotes violence etc. ) is seemingly going out of his way to hype a new record called "Killer," now that the two have found a middle ground. A sampling of Tech N9ne's poetry: "I want you to quit,Calling me (Calling me) Following me, (Following me) Why do you trip with me? After you get through, Swallowing me. Never knew this Bianca, would explode, like this, now that I know this, I must reload Gat clips."
That must have been some conversation.