• So this is how he spent his Tuesdays with Morrie: I have no idea why the image of Mitch Albom getting a foot massage in Beijing is so captivating, but it is. I thought elves had little hooves for feet? [The Big Lead]

• No, you're more famous!: Michael Phelps meets Tom Brady. Or "Gold Medal Swimmer Meets Gold Medal Douchebag." [KSK]

• Why do men wear shirts and girls have to show their gumpers?: "[T]he governing international body for the sport prefers a cleaner look with their country, names, and numbers on their shirt." [FanHouse]

• The best running back you've never heard of?: BYU's Harvey Unga Rhymes with conga. I think. [StilesPoints]

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.