• Meet our demands or the tubby girl gets it: "A performance during a Nacogdoches High School pep rally last month has created some controversy between students and the administration over the appropriateness of a skit that included the executions of rivals and toy guns." [The Big Lead]

• Mike Brown is flattered by your interest in the ball club: Bengals owner/GM writes back to a frustrated Bengals fan and empathizes with his disgust. [WhoDeyRevolution]

• The Houston Rockets like to move it-move it: Houston Rockets rookies and second-year players have a dance-off. [Dock Squad Sports]

• The de-penised wonder, John Wayne Bobbit, puts on the gloves: His scheduled to have a celebrity boxing match with a man who once knocked out Suge Knight in a street fight. Maybe John Wayne Bobbit can fill the void left by Kimbo Slice? [The Zone Blitz]

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.