They sure took their sweet time, but after the most adrenaline-packed three-and-a-half innings of baseball all year (maybe ever?) the Phillies take the lead twice, with the second one sticking for a 4-3 victory, vanquishing the Tampa Bay Rays in five games.

Geoff Jenkins led off the game with a pinch hit double, which will probably never happen again. Pat Burrell's near-homer-but-actually-a-double led to the other run, neutralizing Rocco Baldelli's home run. And Brad Lidge defeats the Ghost of Albert Pujols to complete the "perfect season." (In the post-game interview with FOX's Ken Rosenthal, Lidge thanked Jesus Christ, who went 2-4 with a walk and an RBI.) And I think it's fair to say, more people would like baseball if the games lasted four innings.

If AJ Daulerio doesn't make it back alive, just let it be known he promised me a huge raise. Enjoy the end of the painful championship drought, Philadelphia.

Contact information for this author is not available.