So let it be written to blogdome@deadspin.com. So let it be done.

Saban parted the Red Sea because his next job was on the other side: Gosh, it's been almost 15 years since Alabama won a national title. Raise your hand if you feel sorry for them? Anyone? Anyone....? [Bleacher Report] • The balls bounce right off them, too: Oh, in case you haven't figured it out already, the Gold Gloves are a joke. For starters, they're actually made of pewter. [The Angry T] • Baby Mangino approves: Can you identify the fat football coach simply by looking at the shape of his gut? Oh, I guess "fat football coach" is a bit redundant. [Simon On Sports] • Baby Mangino cries: With Tyrone Willingham and Ron Price gone, that leaves just four D-I football coaches who aren't fat white guys. But Obama's in the White House, so race is irrelevant now. [AppFan] • That's not a metaphor: Some soccer player we've never heard of got his head caught in a roller coaster. It's even funnier in French. [The Spoiler]