In a blatant effort to rearm the Salvation Army in order to fight street to street in the urban centers and rural battlegrounds of America, Jerry Jones and a Coalition of the Willing to Appear Charitable in a Very Public Fashion have offered a unique combination of the gauche and the gaucho to the well-heeled Dallas Cowboys fan: he will send a crew over to paint the Texas Stadium end zone on your palatial lawn and a party on your newly-marred stretch of land, complete with the Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders.

Not only that, but you get a luxury box for the last regular season game ever in Texas Stadium. (Your cheerleader-laden party falls after the game, natch.) You also get various items signed by Cowboys and a special invite to the new stadium.

How much would you pay? Well, you're too poor. Forget it. We don't care how much you'd pay. However, a truly rich individual will pay $500,000 for the privilege. However, this does not include any fines incurred from the NFL if you allow Terrell Owens to dance at your tailgate party.

Dallas Cowboys® Texas Stadium® End Zone Package [Neiman Marcus]

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