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Nov 10, 2008 02:15 PM
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My grandpa averaged about two rounds of golf a week for close to thirty years and one time, when he was in his late sixties, he finally nailed a hole-in-one. It was a pretty big deal, as most things are when you wait most of your adult life for them to happen. He got a trophy and everything. So it's a good thing he's not alive to read the story of Curt Hocker, a 22-year-old from El Paso, TexasIllinois, who claims to have 10 career aces (plus two par 5 double eagles), including five aces scored on par 4s with a driver. Oh, and five of his holes-in-one came in the seven days between October 29 and November 4, including two in one round. To which we can only say, um ... bullshit?
The odds of two aces in one round are conservatively estimated at 9,100,000-to-1, but Hocker has done it twice in the last three months. "From 1983 to 2003, there were 631 aces made on the PGA Tour but just 56 double eagles and never more than six in one year." Hocker has made seven since May 4. Or to put this in terms that are easier to digest: No. Fucking. Way.
Hocker does have some impressive alibis, however, like the 27 different witnesses who are listed for his 12 incredibly unbelievable shots. And one reporter's exhaustive investigation has revealed no cracks in that armor.
If the stories are true - and I have no reason to believe they're not, other than sheer probability - it's the most unique and amazing feat of its kind in the history of the game. But if they're not, it's an incredibly complex hoax involving more than 30 people.
Well, a lie is best told between two truths. Forget the 9/11 conspiracy—we need some internet sluethers out there to train their crazy eyes on this one, because I'm sorry ... I don't want to believe. Hocker even admits that on eight of the shots, no one actually saw the ball go into hole, which lends credence to my theory—trickster squirrels. (They like to pick up golf balls and drop them in the hole when no one is looking.) As far as I'm concerned, that's an equally plausible scenario.
The wonder of it all [Peoria Journal Star]
I'm Calling Bullshit [Dogs Chasing Cars]
This Greedy Bastard made 5 Holes-In-One in one Week [Angry T]
Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.
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