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What to watch while you get hammered with your parents in Wisconsin ...
• NCAA Men: Preseason NIT: Eastern Michigan at Purdue Boilermakers (7:00 p.m., ET) I could a use a boilermaker myself right now. [ESPN2]
• NHL: Boston Bruins at Toronto Maple Leafs (7:30 p.m., ET) Did you know that Maple Leafs do not actually taste like maple syrup? [Versus]
• NFL: Monday Night Football: Cleveland Browns at Buffalo Bills (8:30 p.m., ET) Try to contain yourself. [ESPN]
• Movie: "Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby" (8:00 p.m., ET) Why would you want the stereo on while you're watching TV? [Encore]
Send an email to Dashiell Bennett, the author of this post, at dashiell@deadspin.com.
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