Page Six is always searching for some way to put Mets' third baseman David Wright in the column and today has finally found a suitable angle to satisfy its gossip-hungry readership: an eyewitness account of Wright almost getting trampled by amorous old ladies. During his annual "Do The Wright Thing" event at the Hard Rock Cafe, the paper says that Wright was "mobbed by a swarm of trashy-looking cougars. Middle-age women with bad '80s hair were practically pushing down little kids who were trying to get baseballs signed."

Page Six's spy also reports that Wright tried to calm the women down by yelling "Ladies, calm down! Please, relax!" It almost sounds like it was a "President Clinton visits Ghana"-type situation. Thankfully, no children or desperate cougars were injured.

David Wright Mobbed by "Cougars" At Annual Fundraiser [Page Six]

PHOTO: Amazinavenue.com

Send an email to A.J. Daulerio, the author of this post, at ajd@deadspin.com.