Regardless of what Visanthe Shiancoe told Minnesota gossip columnist "CJ" after he found out his dangling member was revealed to the world, Shiancoe's agent, Tony Agnone, says the Vikings tight end was "sorry it got on television." The damage-controlling Agnone also said Shiancoe's greatest concern is for "the young fans — he hopes they know it's a locker room."
That could be true. Kind of. But, Hugh Douglas, former defensive end of the Philadelphia Eagles, says he's not convinced. On today's 610 WIP morning show in Philadelphia, Douglas revealed the not-so-shocking truth that football players sometimes drop their towels on purpose once they find out the media will be around. Douglas took my phone call (for once) and offered to expand, hence completing Deadspin's wall-to-wall dong reporting for the day.
I asked Hugh if he seriously thinks Visanthe Shiancoe knew the cameras were on while he was exposed and he said that while he was playing for the Eagles, it happened so often that it became a running joke.
HD: "Cats'd be dropping their towels all the time, be butt-ass nekkid all the time, man, just trying to be funny. Especially if there were female reporters in the locker room? If they think they got it, they're gonna show their stuff."
(Note: Hugh Douglas is probably the only man left in America who can use "cats" this way and not sound like an idiot.)
HD: "I guarantee you Shiancoe or whatever his name is doesn't give a damn. And I guarantee you that if he's a single man, he's gonna get a lot more ass the next time he goes home."
So, did you drop your towel all the time too?
HD: "No, I didn't do it. But Hollis [Thomas, former Eagle, current Saint] would do it all the time. Anytime there would be a female reporter in the locker room he'd just let it all hang out. Hollis was funny like that. He'd always try to get people to look at him."
Did anybody ever look?
HD: "Oh, we caught a couple of 'em looking. Some would look all the time. But one girl, Courtney Holt? Never ever broke eye contact. "
(Note: Courtney Holt used to be a guest coordinator/producer for Comcast Sportsnet in Philly. She's now a talent booker for the Golf Channel.)
HD: "Yeah, Hollis would always try get Courtney. He'd sit there with his legs spread, rubbing lotion on his nuts. She wouldn't ever look down, though. She was a true professional."
HD: "Yeah, right? Poor Courtney."
So who else was a chronic towel-dropper?
HD: "Oh, [Al] Harris. Al would find out there would be media around and he'd drop his towel and walk slowly across the locker room. Then he'd be all bending over and shit. He was into it too."
So, you're telling me that Shiancoe knew what he was doing the whole time, that it wasn't an accident?
" I'd never even heard of the guy until this happened. And the more people that know about him now, well, he's not embarrassed about what they know about him. He thinks he's got it and — obviously he does — so he's proud of it."
Thank you, Hugh.This was enlightening. Have a good holiday.
"No problem. You too."
Hopefully, Douglas vouching for Courtney Holt's locker room professionalism, even while she's confronted with yards of athlete junk, is something that will help her get an on-camera reporting job. Just not in New Orleans.