Lebron Gets His Back Scratched, And So Do WeS

Lebron James said the only thing he wanted for Christmas was a back scratcher. "I wanted a back scratcher bad as hell. My girlfriend got me pajamas and a back scratcher."

We should praise the NBA for actually pulling their athletes, arena workers, and TV people away from their families on Christmas. Without the five NBA games yesterday, the sports world probably would have endured a total blackout. And what else was there yesterday? The movies out in theaters right now are fucking terrible, and it was too cold outside yesterday to commit any enjoyable felonies. So thanks, NBA, for that one night of fun. I guess we'll see you when the playoffs start in the spring.

Dallas 102, Portland 94. Brandon Roy played 42 minutes for naught, as Dirk's 30 paced a Mavericks team that only shot 48 percent from the field.

Cleveland 93, Washington 89. It took an 11-0 run in the fourth quarter for the Cavs to avoid their first loss at home in 15 games. Cleveland hit 12 threes in the game, a season high.

Lakers 92, Boston 83. I hate the Lakers' white jerseys. Imagine your level of disgust if another NBA team started wearing yellow jerseys during home games. That's how I feel about the Lakers not wearing yellow at home. And those Star of David patches that everyone wore last night didn't do much for me, either.

Orlando 88, New Orleans 68. Magic coach Stan Van Gundy chastised his team for their 23 percent shooting from the field during the second half. That's still better than getting socks for Christmas. Nothing's worse than socks.

San Antonio 91, Phoenix 90. All five starters for the Suns reached double figures in scoring, but they only got two points from their bench. Tony Parker had 27 and Tim Duncan had 25.